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Why did the parent give their college student a map? To help them navigate the treacherous territory of adulthood!
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Why did the parent take up astronomy when their child went to college? To finally grasp the astronomical cost of tuition!
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My son said he's majoring in art. I told him, 'That's a sketchy career choice!
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Why did the parent send their college student a plant? Because they heard it's the only thing that can survive neglect!
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My son told me he's majoring in philosophy. I asked him if he wants fries with that deep thought!
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I told my son he should major in time travel. He asked why. I said it's the only way he can start paying back those student loans on time!
Parents of College Students
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Parents love to brag about their kids' accomplishments, especially when they're in college. My dad was like, My son is so smart, he's in advanced calculus! Yeah, Dad, I'm advanced at calculating how much pizza I can order with the little money you sent me.
Parents of College Students
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Parents are great at sending care packages, but they always include weird stuff. My mom sent me a box with a note saying, Thought you might need some home-cooked meals. It was instant ramen. Thanks, Mom, for the gourmet cuisine.
Parents of College Students
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You know you're in trouble when your parents start using your major as a verb. My mom goes, He's majoring in psychology; maybe he can figure out why he's always broke. Thanks, Mom, maybe you can major in sending care packages.
Parents of College Students
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Parents suddenly become budgeting gurus when you're in college. My dad called and said, Son, you need to stick to a budget. I'm like, Dad, my budget is the dollar menu at the fast-food joint. It's called survival.
Parents of College Students
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Parents act like they're the professors of the College of Life. My mom said, In my day, we didn't have smartphones. I'm like, Yeah, Mom, in your day, you didn't have to Google how to do your own laundry!
Parents of College Students
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You ever notice how parents of college students become instant experts on every subject their kid is studying? My mom called me the other day, asking if I've aced my quantum physics exam. I'm like, Mom, I'm just trying to figure out how to do laundry without turning everything pink!
Parents of College Students
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Parents love to ask about your social life in college. My mom asked, Do you have a lot of friends? I said, Yeah, Mom, my textbooks are my best friends. They never judge me for eating cereal at 2 AM.
Parents of College Students
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Parents act like they're on a college tour when they visit. My mom walks into my dorm room and says, Is this where the magic happens? Yeah, Mom, the magic of trying to find matching socks in this laundry disaster.
Parents of College Students
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Parents love to give advice, especially when it comes to academics. My dad told me, Son, in college, time management is crucial. I'm like, Dad, I just mastered the art of napping between classes. Time managed!
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