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You ever try to adult? It's a whole thing. They say you should approach life "on the whole." Well, as an adult, I have a whole lot of responsibilities, and my idea of "on the whole" is trying to remember where I put my car keys. I spend a whole lot of time retracing my steps like a detective in a really boring mystery novel. And what's the deal with taxes? They want you to look at your finances "on the whole." But when I do, all I see is a whole lot of zeros and a whole lot of confusion. I tried doing my taxes once, and the whole experience felt like I was trying to solve a complex puzzle with missing pieces. And by the end of it, I'm pretty sure I just created a whole new tax code unintentionally.
So, on the whole, being an adult is like trying to juggle a whole lot of responsibilities while hoping you don't drop the ball—unless that ball is your dignity; I dropped that a long time ago.
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You know, they say you should look at things "on the whole." Well, I tried that, and let me tell you, it's a whole lotta trouble! I mean, who came up with this whole concept of looking at everything as a whole? Did they not realize how complicated life is? I tried applying it to my laundry, and now all my socks are in a constant state of existential crisis because they can't figure out their place in the whole drawer! And what's the deal with trying to see the world "on the whole"? I attempted to appreciate the beauty of nature, you know, take it all in. But have you ever tried to appreciate a whole forest when you're being chased by mosquitoes the size of helicopters? It's like trying to enjoy a sunset while being attacked by a swarm of tiny, bloodthirsty ninjas!
So, on the whole, I've decided that looking at things "on the whole" is just a recipe for a whole lotta confusion and a whole lotta mosquito bites!
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You ever ask someone for relationship advice? They always say you should consider the relationship "on the whole." Well, I tried that, and let me tell you, it's a whole rollercoaster of emotions. Relationships are like onions; they have layers, and sometimes those layers make you cry. And what's with the whole "communication is key" thing? I communicate with my partner so much; we practically have a telepathic connection. But somehow, when it comes to deciding what to have for dinner, that telepathy disappears, and we end up in a whole debate about pizza versus sushi.
So, on the whole, relationships are like a puzzle where the pieces don't always fit, but you keep trying to force them together because, on the whole, love is a beautiful mess. Or maybe that's just what I tell myself to justify the whole pizza for dinner thing.
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I recently decided to get my life together and try this whole diet thing. You know, eat healthier, live longer, all that jazz. They say you should look at your diet "on the whole." So, I did. I looked at my fridge, and on the whole, it was a sad state of affairs. I had a whole lot of expired yogurt and a whole lot of regret. And don't get me started on the whole kale trend. They say kale is a superfood. Well, on the whole, it tastes like I'm chewing on a piece of my neighbor's lawn. I don't need a whole lot of superfoods; I just need something that won't taste like I'm eating the whole garden!
So, on the whole, I've decided that my diet is going to consist of a whole lot of "I tried, but pizza exists.
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