5 Jokes For Offspring

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Apr 04 2025

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Bedtime Negotiations

Getting kids to bed on time without starting World War III.
Putting a child to bed is a lot like trying to fold a fitted sheet. It seems impossible, and by the end of it, you're just happy if everything is in the right general area.

School Pickup Drama

Navigating the social minefield of school pickup lines.
My kid complained that I embarrass him at school pickup. I told him, "If you think my car is embarrassing now, just wait until I start blasting '80s music when I roll up.

Parental Wisdom

Trying to give advice without sounding like your own parents.
Parental wisdom is a tricky thing. I told my child, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." He looked at me and said, "Well, that doesn't leave me with many options, does it?

Teenage Tech Woes

Understanding technology better than your parents, but still needing their help.
Teens are so confident with technology; they act like they invented it. My son said, "Mom, back in my day, we had to press buttons on a remote. It was like living in the dark ages of entertainment.

Soccer Mom Adventures

Trying to be a supportive soccer mom without becoming a referee yourself.
Soccer mom status is determined by the size of your chair and the decibel level of your cheering. I may not know the offside rule, but I can yell "Go team!" with the best of them.

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