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My friend asked me, "If you could be any animal, what would you be?" I said, "Definitely not a starfish – I need my arms and legs to handle life. I can't be out here looking like a sea pancake.
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You ever notice how snakes are like the superheroes of the animal kingdom? I mean, they have no arms and legs, yet they can still slither into tight spaces and give you the heebie-jeebies. Meanwhile, I struggle to get out of a beanbag chair with all four limbs intact!
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I saw a guy doing yoga the other day, and I couldn't help but think, "Man, that guy is so flexible, he must be part snake!" But then I realized, snakes don't even have arms and legs – they're the true yoga masters!
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I saw a sign at the zoo that said, "Please do not feed the animals." I thought, "Well, how are they supposed to eat without arms and legs?" Maybe they should consider a more inclusive menu, like smoothies or pureed snacks.
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Have you ever tried playing charades with a mime? It's like a high-stakes game of "Guess the Invisible Limbs." I'm over here guessing arms and legs, and the mime is just silently gesturing, "Nope, wrong again!
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I tried to impress my date by attempting a handstand. It didn't go well. I ended up looking like a turtle stuck on its back, desperately flailing for nonexistent limbs. Note to self: stick to dinner and a movie.
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Ever notice how toddlers are basically tiny drunk people? They stumble around, bump into things, and have no concept of personal space. I guess we all start off a bit like snakes – figuring out this whole limbs thing.
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I recently met a contortionist who claimed he could fit into a tiny box. I thought, "That's impressive, but have you met my WiFi router? It's been squeezing into tight spaces with no arms and legs for years!
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I was at the gym, and there was a guy doing push-ups with just his arms. I thought, "Wow, that's impressive!" But then I remembered snakes do push-ups with their entire bodies, and I felt like a fitness amateur.
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