18 Jokes For Nicol

Puns

Updated on: Sep 03 2024

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Why did Nicol take a mirror to the art gallery? To reflect on the masterpiece jokes!
Why did Nicol bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did Nicol go to the gym? To work on their punchlines!
Why did Nicol bring a pencil to the party? In case they needed to draw some attention!
Why did Nicol take a spoon to bed? They wanted to dream up some sweet ideas!
Why did Nicol take a map to the party? In case things 'unfolded' and they needed directions!
Why did Nicol take a clock to the library? They wanted to 'check out' some 'timeless' books!
Why did Nicol become a photographer? They wanted to capture every 'snapshot' of humor!

The Nicollephant in the Room

You ever have someone mispronounce your name so badly that it becomes an entirely new species? Hi, I'm Nicollephant, the majestic creature that only appears when someone can't remember your name. It's like, congratulations, you've just discovered a new species, and it's me trying not to correct you for the tenth time.

Nicolas Cage and the Lost Keys

Ever notice how Nicolas Cage always looks like he's trying to find his car keys? Like, every movie, he's on this intense quest, and I'm sitting there thinking, Dude, check your pockets! Maybe he's just method acting, preparing for the day he inevitably misplaces his own keys. I can't wait for National Treasure 3: Nicolas Cage's Lost Keys.

Nicole's Fortune Cookie Wisdom

You know those fortune cookies that give you profound advice? I got one the other day that said, Nicol, your life will be like a sandwich – full of bologna. Well, thanks, mystical cookie. I appreciate the heads up that my life is basically a processed meat sandwich. I guess I'll add some mustard for optimism.

The Nicotine Patch Proposal

I heard about this guy who proposed to his girlfriend by hiding the engagement ring inside a nicotine patch box. She opened it, and he said, Sweetheart, just like quitting smoking, being with you is the best decision I've ever made. I guess he wanted to make sure she said 'I do' before realizing she could have just said 'no' and kept the ring.

Nicolas the Detective

I pitched a new TV show idea – Nicolas the Detective. It's just Nicolas Cage going around solving mysteries, but every time he finds a clue, he dramatically says, I knew it was here all along! even though he clearly didn't. The twist is, Nicolas Cage is the real mystery all along.

Nicole's GPS Adventures

My friend Nicole relies heavily on her GPS. I mean, she once got lost in a parking lot. A parking lot! The GPS was like, In 500 feet, turn left. And Nicole was like, Left where? Among the sedans and minivans? I'm just waiting for the day her GPS says, You have reached your destination in the middle of a roundabout.

The Nicotine Diet

You know, I tried this new diet called the Nicol Diet. It's fantastic! It's where you only eat nicotine patches for a month. I lost weight, my cravings are gone, and now I can communicate with dolphins. The only downside is that my doctor says I have a nicotine dependency. But hey, small price to pay for a beach body and dolphin friends, right?

The Nicotine Patch Fashion Trend

I saw a fashion show where models were wearing nicotine patches as accessories. I thought, Finally, a trend that encourages a healthier lifestyle. The runway looked like a nicotine patch paradise. I can't wait for the day when we have designers showcasing the latest in cholesterol-lowering belts and blood pressure cuff bracelets.

Nicole's Masterpiece

My friend Nicole told me she was going to create a masterpiece. Turns out, her masterpiece was rearranging the furniture in her living room. I walked in, and she was like, Ta-da! The feng shui is off the charts. I didn't have the heart to tell her that rearranging furniture isn't exactly the Sistine Chapel of interior design.

Nicole's Mystery Recipe

I asked my friend Nicole for her secret recipe, and she said, Oh, it's a family secret. I was like, Nicole, your family secret is probably just salt. Turns out, it was salt. A pinch of mystery, a dash of intrigue, and a whole lot of sodium – that's the secret to the perfect recipe, according to Nicole's family.

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