5 Jokes For Needle

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Aug 21 2024

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The Sewing Machine Whisperer

When your sewing machine has a mind of its own
The other day, my sewing machine started making strange noises. I asked, "Are you possessed?" It replied, "No, just under-threaded." Well, that's a relief. I can handle a rebellious sewing machine, but a possessed one is a whole different stitchuation.

The Voodoo Doll Hobbyist

When your voodoo doll starts asking for a union
My voodoo doll filed a complaint with HR. Apparently, it's upset about the working conditions. I tried to explain that being stuck with pins is just part of the job, but it insisted on dental benefits. I never thought I'd negotiate with a doll, but here we are.

The Haystack Hoarder

Looking for a needle in a haystack and proud of it
I threw a party recently and invited all my needle-finding friends. It was a blast! Until someone accidentally dropped their knitting needles. Now, good luck finding anything in my haystack of a living room.

The Record-Breaking Thread Untangler

Setting a world record for the longest time spent untangling a ball of thread
I'm currently in the Guinness World Records book for the longest time spent untangling thread. They asked me for a quote, so I said, "It's not about the destination; it's about the knots you make along the way." Now, I'm hoping they'll add a category for the most puns in a world record quote.

The Acupuncture Enthusiast

When acupuncture becomes a competitive sport
I tried to impress my acupuncturist by telling him I have a high pain tolerance. He said, "Great! Let's see how you handle these gold medal-grade needles." Suddenly, I miss the days when the only sharp competition was at the supermarket.

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