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You ever try to find the perfect Mother's Day card and end up spending more time in the card aisle than you did shopping for her actual gift? It's like a mission – finding the card that screams, "I put thought into this, and it wasn't a last-minute decision.
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Have you ever noticed how Mother's Day cards often have this flowery language that makes you sound like a Shakespearean poet? "To the fairest maiden who birthed me forthwith." I mean, come on, we're not living in the 16th century, Hallmark!
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Mother's Day cards always have these picturesque scenes of families sitting around a dinner table or playing in the park. I don't know about you, but our family gatherings usually involve someone arguing about politics and another person asking, "Who ate the last piece of cake?
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Mother's Day cards are the only cards where it's perfectly acceptable to be overly sentimental. You can't get away with that level of mushiness on a birthday card – imagine writing, "To my dear friend, the passage of time has only strengthened our bond." No, save that for Mom's card.
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Have you ever read a Mother's Day card and thought, "Wow, I didn't know Hallmark was spying on my family gatherings"? They've got cards for every type of mom – the sentimental mom, the funny mom, and the mom who just wants a day without anyone asking, "What's for dinner?
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You ever notice how Mother's Day cards are like the Hallmark version of a guilt trip? "To the woman who birthed you, raised you, and probably knows more embarrassing stories about you than anyone else. Happy Mother's Day, or should I say, 'Sorry for all those gray hairs!'
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Mother's Day cards are so specific. There's a card for everything. They even have cards for the mom who loves gardening, like, "To the woman who taught me that plants are just as needy as children. Happy Mother's Day, you green-thumbed goddess!
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Mother's Day cards are like emotional stock investments. You pick one that seems promising, invest in a heartfelt message, and hope that the return is a smile, not a raised eyebrow that says, "Is this all you got me?
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Mother's Day cards are basically a way of saying, "I love you, but not enough to pick up the phone regularly." It's like, "Mom, here's a beautifully crafted card with sentimental words, but don't expect me to call you every week. I'm busy binge-watching Netflix, you know?
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