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The Migraine Negotiator
Negotiating with a migraine is like trying to strike a deal with the most stubborn headache in the world.
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I've become an expert in migraine diplomacy. My opening move is always an ice pack, followed by a peace treaty with the pharmaceutical industry. If only my migraines understood the concept of a ceasefire.
The Migraine Magnet
When you're a magnet for migraines, life is never headache-free.
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I tried to join a support group for migraine magnets, but every time we gathered, it turned into a competition of who had the most creative excuse to leave early. "Sorry, guys, I've got a date with my ice pack and a dark room. Gotta go!
The Migraine Detective
Trying to solve the mystery of what triggers your migraines is like being a detective with a really painful case.
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Solving the mystery of my migraines is like playing a game of Clue. "It was Colonel Mustard, in the kitchen, with the fluorescent lighting." The only difference is, in this game, I always lose.
The Migraine Whisperer
When you're a migraine whisperer, convincing people to quiet down is an uphill battle.
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I've become so skilled at whispering that I should host ASMR videos. "Today, we'll explore the soothing sounds of silence. Just kidding, it's impossible because someone is always blasting music in the apartment next door!
The Migraine Time Traveler
Migraines make time travel feel like a trip to the past when you didn't know what a migraine was.
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Migraines make time fly in the weirdest way. It feels like hours have passed, but in reality, only five minutes have gone by. It's like a time dilation field, but instead of meeting aliens, I'm just trying not to throw up.
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