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Spider-Man swings around the city on webs he shoots from his wrists. I can't even handle the stress of untangling my earphones. Imagine if Spider-Man got stuck in his own web – talk about a superhero fashion faux pas!
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Captain America throws his shield like it's a frisbee of justice. Meanwhile, I can't even make a paper airplane that flies straight. Maybe I should start throwing patriotic dinner plates instead.
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Black Widow is a master spy, skilled in hand-to-hand combat. Meanwhile, I struggle to open a can of pickles without injuring myself. If only I had her precision when dealing with stubborn jars – the true mark of a hero.
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Have you ever considered the job market for construction workers in the Marvel universe? I mean, every time there's a superhero battle, buildings are coming down like they're made of cardboard. Those construction guys must be on speed dial.
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I was thinking about the Avengers the other day. They're always saving the world, but have you noticed they never stop for a bathroom break? I guess when you're a superhero, bladder control becomes your real superpower.
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You ever notice how Marvel superheroes always have these elaborate costumes? I mean, Iron Man has more accessories than my grandma's kitchen. I half-expect him to pull out a spatula mid-fight and start flipping burgers on his chest plate.
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Ant-Man can shrink down to the size of an ant. I could use that power when facing a mountain of laundry. Just shrink it all down, toss it in the washing machine, and boom – superhero laundry day!
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Doctor Strange can bend time and space, but can he navigate the chaos of holiday shopping? I'd pay good money to see him try to find a parking spot at the mall during the Christmas rush.
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Thor has that powerful hammer, Mjolnir. If he were a regular guy, that hammer would be the ultimate tool for assembling IKEA furniture. Forget about Allen wrenches – just give me Mjolnir and watch that bookshelf come together!
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