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Captain America's Shield
Being used for everything except fighting villains
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The other day, he tried to use me as a serving tray at a party. I felt like saying, "I'm a shield, not a silver platter – stop treating me like a piece of IKEA furniture!
Thor's Hammer, Mjolnir
Being too heavy for anyone else to lift
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Tony Stark once tried to use his Iron Man suit to lift me. I'm like, "Nice try, Stark, but you can't upgrade your way into worthiness.
Black Widow's Spy Gadgets
Constantly being mistaken for household items
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Black Widow once used me as a can opener. I'm starting to think superheroes don't understand the concept of specialized tools.
Hulk's Purple Pants
Surviving the constant transformation
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I tried asking Hulk to wear sweatpants once. He said, "No, these are my lucky purple pants. What if I need to smash something urgently and I'm not wearing them?
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