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I started a new diet where I only eat in the corners of the room. But so far, I've only gained weight in the round parts!
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My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch!
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I've decided to lose weight by taking up photography. Every time I see a picture of myself, I lose my appetite!
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I tried to lose weight by exercising, but I was really only running late!
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I'm not saying I'm fat, but I did join a gym. It's called Just Fat, Not Furious!
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I asked the gym trainer, 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays!
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