17 Jokes For Lannister

Puns

Updated on: Apr 01 2025

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Why did the Lannister start a bakery? For that sweet, sweet dough!
What's a Lannister's favorite exercise? The lion share of squats!
What's a Lannister's favorite movie genre? Gold dramas!
What do you call a Lannister who loves music? A lionel Richie!
Why did the Lannister bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the Lannister open a restaurant? The lion's share of the menu, of course!
What do you call a Lannister who loves gardening? A lion farmer!

The Lannister Workout

I decided to try the Lannister workout. You know, lifting gold bars and all. Turns out, the only gold I've been lifting is the chocolate coins from my nephew's pirate-themed birthday party. But hey, I'm building my strength for the inevitable day when I have to carry all those groceries in one trip.

Winter is Tax Season

Winter may be coming, but so is tax season. It's the time of year when I feel a kinship with the Night's Watch because, just like them, I stand guard at my mailbox, waiting for those W-2 ravens to arrive. Spoiler alert: There's no Jon Snow to save me from the IRS.

Dating in the Seven Kingdoms

Dating is a lot like the Seven Kingdoms. You meet someone, there are alliances formed (mostly with Netflix and pizza), and before you know it, someone's trying to claim the Iron Throne of the TV remote. Winter might be cold, but the real chill is when your date says, I don't watch Game of Thrones.

Lannister Alarm Clock

I set my alarm tone to the Game of Thrones theme. Nothing wakes you up faster than the fear of missing your metaphorical head being chopped off by the impending responsibilities of the day. It's like waking up to the sound of financial dread and existential crisis – a real motivator.

Couch Potato Kingdom

I binge-watched Game of Thrones so much that my couch now considers itself a throne. It's like, Bow down, for you are in the presence of the ruler of the Remote Control Kingdom. I tried to rebel once, but the couch won with its strategic placement of snacks and a remote scepter.

Lannister Budgeting

I tried budgeting like a Lannister once. I took out a piece of paper, wrote down all my expenses, and then burned it because, you know, fire solves everything. Turns out, my landlord doesn't accept burned budget as a valid form of rent payment.

Game of Loans

You know, being in debt is a lot like being a Lannister. I mean, they always say, A Lannister always pays his debts. Well, I guess that makes me a Stark because I'm still waiting for winter to come and freeze my student loans.

Game of Groceries

Grocery shopping is like a Game of Thrones episode for me. You start with a shopping list, and by the time you reach the checkout, it feels like you've lost half your budget and gained a dragon-sized receipt. Winter may be coming, but so are the expiration dates on my yogurt.

Lannister Pet Problems

I tried adopting a pet Lannister lion once. Turns out, feeding it is expensive, and it doesn't clean up after itself. Plus, the neighbors weren't thrilled about the constant roars echoing through the apartment building. Who knew being a dragon mom was so much easier?

Lannister Family Reunions

Have you ever noticed that Lannister family reunions are like high-stakes poker games? They're all just sitting around the table, trying to figure out who's bluffing about their love and loyalty. I tried that once with my family, but we ran out of chips when someone played the Who forgot to take out the trash card.

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