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I heard the Lannisters throw the best parties. I tried throwing a Lannister-style party at my place. It was going well until I handed out fake gold coins. Turns out, people prefer real money over chocolate coins. Who knew?
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I realized the Lannisters are basically the original influencers. I mean, they're all about that family brand. "Lannisters: Where the family drama is as legendary as our gold reserves." Forget Instagram, they're living their best medieval life.
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I was thinking, the Lannisters are the real MVPs of recycling. I mean, they pass the crown from one family member to another like it's a hand-me-down sweater. "Congratulations, you're the ruler now – try not to spill any wine on it.
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I was watching Game of Thrones, and I couldn't help but think – do the Lannisters have a financial advisor? I mean, with all that money, you'd think they'd invest in something other than wars and fancy chairs. Maybe diversify your portfolio, guys – dragons are the hot commodity these days.
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Do you think the Lannisters have a group chat? I can imagine it now: "Tywin added Cersei and Jaime to 'Family Matters.' Tyrion left the group." Family drama even in the digital age – those Lannisters truly are timeless.
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You ever notice how much gold those Lannisters have? I mean, their wealth is like my phone battery – always in the red, but somehow, it just keeps going. And just like my phone, if I had a Lannister's bank account, I'd probably be spending most of my time in the bathroom too.
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So, the Lannisters always say, "A Lannister always pays his debts." Well, I tried that line at the grocery store, and let me tell you, they were not impressed. Apparently, they prefer cash or credit.
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You ever notice how the Lannisters always have perfect hair, even in the middle of a war? Meanwhile, I can't even keep my hair intact during a light breeze. Maybe they're born with it, or maybe it's medieval Maybelline.
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I bet the Lannisters never have to deal with awkward family reunions. "Hey, Uncle Tyrion, still the family disappointment?" Imagine having to share a throne with your siblings. Talk about a game of musical chairs, right?
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