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Kids under 5 are the ultimate philosophers. They hit you with these deep, existential questions that make you question your entire existence. The other day, a kid asked me, "Why is the sky blue?" Now, I'm not Neil deGrasse Tyson, but I tried my best. I explained about light scattering, wavelengths, and all that. The kid just stared at me and said, "I like purple." It's like having a conversation with a tiny Socrates. They're pondering the mysteries of the universe while I'm contemplating the mysteries of why I can't find matching socks. Life's profound, isn't it?
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Who here has tried putting a kid under 5 to bed? It's like negotiating a peace treaty with a tiny dictator. They've got demands, negotiations, and sometimes, there's even a bit of crying involved—mostly from me. I tried reading them a bedtime story once. Big mistake. They're like literary critics with a strong opinion on the appropriate number of animal sounds one should make during a reading of "Goodnight Moon." Apparently, I was way off. And don't get me started on the negotiations for that glass of water. It's like haggling at a Middle Eastern bazaar. "One sip, two sips, final offer!
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You know, I was at a friend's house the other day, and they have these kids under 5 running around. Cute little things, right? But let me tell you, they're like tiny tornadoes leaving destruction in their wake. Toys everywhere, sticky fingerprints on the walls—it's like living in a hurricane zone. I tried to have a conversation with one of them, you know, like a casual chat. I asked, "Hey, how's your day going?" And this little Picasso looks at me, grins, and smears something that resembles a masterpiece on my jeans. I call it "Toddler Abstract." Forget about high fashion; I'm all about toddler couture now.
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Have you noticed that kids under 5 have a sixth sense for snacks? It's like they have a secret radar that goes off whenever you're trying to enjoy a peaceful moment. You open a bag of chips, and suddenly, they appear out of thin air, demanding their share. I tried hiding in the pantry once, thinking I could enjoy my guilty pleasure in peace. Little did I know, it was like Mission Impossible for them. They found me, and now I have a toddler as my snack accountability partner. "You sure you need that second cookie, buddy?" Thanks, pint-sized nutritionist.
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