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Joke Types
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Why did the crayon go to therapy? It had too many issues with its colors!
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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little whine!
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Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
Random Fact Generators
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Kids are like walking, talking random fact generators. My niece informed me that honey never spoils. I said, That's fascinating. She replied, Yeah, so basically, bears are just hoarding snack packs for the apocalypse.
Miniature Philosophers
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Kids are like miniature philosophers. My daughter asked me, If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place? I said, Sweetie, sometimes even fairy tales have plot holes – and wardrobe malfunctions!
Candy Heist Experts
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Kids are experts at executing candy heists. You hide the chocolate, and they turn into tiny Sherlock Holmes detectives. I caught my son red-handed with a candy bar once. He looked at me and said, I was just testing your security measures, Dad!
The Comedy Preschool
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I think there should be a comedy preschool, you know, where kids can learn the real important stuff like knock-knock jokes and why chickens cross roads. They can even have a class on how to blame the dog for their own artistic wall paintings.
Hide and Seek Champions
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Kids are the hide-and-seek champions of the world. My son hid so well once that I started to panic. I finally found him in the closet behind the winter clothes. When I asked why he chose such a tricky spot, he said, Well, you never go in there, Dad! Touche, kid, touche.
Bedtime Negotiations
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Bedtime negotiations with kids are a real thing. It's like a high-stakes poker game. My son once offered to trade five more minutes of bedtime for two extra broccoli-free dinners. I had to resist the urge to call his bluff and send him to bed.
Miniature Jokesters
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Kids are like miniature jokesters. My neighbor's kid asked me why the computer went to therapy. I said, I don't know, why did it? He goes, Because it had too many bytes of emotional baggage! I didn't even know 7-year-olds knew what therapy was!
Tiny Terrors
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You ever notice how kids can be really funny? I mean, they're like tiny terrors with a master's degree in mischief. My nephew told me he wants to be a stand-up comedian when he grows up. I told him, Kid, just focus on not tripping over your own shoelaces first!
The Homework Strategist
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My nephew is a homework strategist. He asked me to help him with his math homework, and I told him, I haven't used this kind of math since... well, never. He said, That's okay, just make up some adult-sounding words, and we'll confuse the teacher together.
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