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I told my son I could build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen his face as I drove pasta!
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Why did the kid put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make some liquid assets!
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What did the grape say when the adult stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
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Why did the kid bring a ladder to the library? They wanted to reach the highest shelf of imagination!
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Why did the child bring a ladder to school? Because they wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the kid bring a ladder to the comedy club? Because they wanted to reach the punchline!
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Why did the kid bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
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Ever notice how kids can watch the same cartoon on repeat for hours? I tried doing that as an adult with a show I loved, but apparently, 'binge-watching' is only cute when you're under 10.
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Kids and adults, we're all just trying to survive in this comedy called life. Kids with their playground politics, and adults with our office drama. At least kids have nap time; we just have to settle for coffee breaks and dream about bedtime.
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I recently tried teaching my kid about taxes. I said, 'You see, son, this is money the government takes from your piggy bank to fund playground renovations.' He wasn't buying it.
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Kids and adults, it's like having two different species under the same roof. You ever try negotiating bedtime with a kid? It's like international diplomacy, but with more tantrums.
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As an adult, I've realized that my ability to bounce back from a late night out is inversely proportional to the number of kids I have. It's like they steal your energy and replace it with sticky fingerprints.
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Kids have this magical way of finding the one item in the grocery store you never intended to buy. You go in for milk and leave with a unicorn-shaped piñata. It's like they have a sixth sense for impulse buys.
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Kids ask a million questions a day. 'Why is the sky blue?' 'Why is grass green?' 'Why can't I have ice cream for breakfast?' I started answering with, 'Because I said so,' but apparently, that's not an acceptable response in board meetings.
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Kids have this magical ability to turn any quiet room into a chaotic mess in seconds. It's like they have a PhD in Disruptive Dynamics. Meanwhile, adults are just trying to sneak in a nap whenever possible.
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Adults have this strange way of making simple tasks complicated. We turn grocery shopping into a strategic mission and assembling furniture into a full-contact sport. Meanwhile, kids are mastering the art of turning a cardboard box into a spaceship.
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