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Kids have this magical ability to make anything sound like an emergency. "Mom, I need a snack right now!" Oh, I'm sorry, did the pantry catch fire, or are we just experiencing a severe case of pre-dinner hunger?
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You know you're an adult when going to bed becomes less about "Goodnight Moon" and more about "Goodnight Responsibilities." Seriously, if only my bills had a snooze button.
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Remember when you were a kid, and the floor was lava? Now, as an adult, the floor is just an obstacle course of Legos, stray socks, and the occasional hidden furniture corner waiting to stub your toe. And they say adulthood is a breeze!
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Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet. You try your best, but in the end, it's just a crumpled mess, and you wonder if anyone else actually has it figured out.
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Kids ask a million questions a day, right? "Why is the sky blue?" "Where do babies come from?" As an adult, my most common question is, "Did I leave the oven on?" followed closely by "Why did I come into this room?
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Ever notice how kids can turn anything into a toy? Give them a cardboard box, and suddenly it's a spaceship, a time machine, and a secret fort. Meanwhile, I'm over here struggling to make a sofa look like anything other than just a place to sit.
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Kids have this superpower where they can eat anything and everything without gaining a single pound. Meanwhile, I look at a slice of pizza, and I swear my metabolism goes on vacation.
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Kids have a built-in GPS for playgrounds. You blindfold them, spin them around, and they still find the slide. Meanwhile, as an adult, I get lost using Google Maps even with my glasses on.
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The difference between a kid's bedtime routine and an adult's bedtime routine is like comparing a sprint to a marathon. Kids - toothbrush, pajamas, story, done. Adults - skincare routine, 37 text messages, existential crisis, and then maybe, just maybe, you'll consider brushing your teeth.
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