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Joke Types
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Why did the musician get hired? Because they had good band management skills!
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Why did the job applicant bring a ladder to the interview? Because they wanted to climb the corporate ladder!
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Why did the scarecrow get a job? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Why don't job applications tell secrets? Because they can't keep things under wraps!
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Why did the gardener get hired? Because they had thyme management skills!
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Why did the job application bring a map to the interview? To show they could find their way to success!
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Why was the computer cold during the job interview? It left its Windows open!
The Perils of Please Attach Your Resume
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You ever notice how job applications ask for your entire job history, but when you try to add an attachment, it's like you're trying to launch a rocket? File too large. Really? You want my life story but not in HD?
References, Really?
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They ask for references like they're planning a heist. Give us three contacts who can vouch for your existence. Sure, let me just call my childhood goldfish and see if it remembers my work ethic.
The Endless Assessment Tests
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You finish the application, and then they hit you with an assessment test. Rate your problem-solving skills. Well, I managed to finish this application without throwing my laptop out the window, so... A+?
The Why Did You Leave Your Last Job? Dilemma
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The worst question: Why did you leave your last job? How about because I ran out of creative excuses for being late? Traffic was backed up because of a rogue squirrel parade.
Skills? What Skills?
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You ever look at the skills section and wonder if they're hiring for a job or auditioning for 'America's Got Talent'? I can juggle three flaming hoops and manage your social media. Hire me!
The Salary Expectations Roulette
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They want you to list your salary expectations, but won't even tell you if there's free coffee in the break room. I expect to be paid in coffee beans and the occasional pat on the back.
The Maze of Cover Letters
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You know what's worse than a maze? Trying to write a cover letter. Dear Hiring Manager, I'm the perfect fit for this job because I can't afford another year of instant noodles and sleepless nights.
The Overachieving Job Application
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Why do job applications ask for your greatest achievements but don't have enough space for my participation awards? I got a trophy in 4th grade for Best Attendance — and that's relevant!
The Eternal Email Loop
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After spending an hour on a job application, they send an email: We've received your application. Please click the link to confirm. Why? To confirm that my hopes and dreams are now in your hands?
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