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Job applications should come with a reality check section. Instead of listing skills, you'd have checkboxes for "Can survive on coffee alone," "Masters the art of pretending to look busy," and "Can navigate the office without making awkward eye contact.
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You ever notice how job applications ask for your previous salary? It's like trying to negotiate a used car deal. "Well, I was making this much, but for the right job, I'm willing to throw in my coffee addiction for free.
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Applying for jobs is a lot like dating. You spend hours getting to know each other, make promises about how you'll always give 110%, and then after a while, you start wondering if you've made a huge mistake.
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Applying for jobs online is like throwing your resume into a virtual black hole and hoping someone on the other side is having a good day. It's a bit like sending a message in a bottle, but instead of the ocean, it's LinkedIn.
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You know, job applications are like modern-day love letters. You spend hours crafting the perfect message, trying to impress someone you've never met, and in the end, you're just hoping they'll call you back for a second date... I mean, interview.
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The "additional comments" section on a job application is where I really shine. I like to throw in a casual, "I can also make a mean cup of coffee and tell a decent dad joke." Because nothing says professional like a well-timed pun.
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Applying for jobs feels a lot like online shopping. You scroll through endless options, get excited about a few, and then realize they all have that one flaw you just can't overlook – like requiring you to be awake before 10 am.
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Job applications are basically a game of hide and seek for adults. They ask you to find that one tiny box where you're supposed to summarize your entire existence in 150 characters. It's like, "Here's my life story, now let me fit it on a post-it note for you.
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Job applications make me question my life choices. It's like, "Why did I decide to become an adult? I miss the days when the hardest decision was choosing between crayons and markers.
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