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I told Jim Gaffigan he should open a bakery. He said, 'Nah, I'd rather just rise to the occasion on stage!
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I asked Jim Gaffigan if he likes to dance. He said, 'Only when I'm trying to shake off the calories!
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I asked Jim Gaffigan for dating advice. He said, 'Just make sure they're okay with your love for pizza and bad jokes!
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I asked Jim Gaffigan for a haircut, and he said, 'Sure, I'll trim the fat.' Now, I'm bald and craving bacon.
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I told Jim Gaffigan I was reading a book on anti-gravity. He said, 'That's impossible to put down!
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