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Why did the computer take up gardening? Because it wanted to improve its root system!
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Why did the mathematician break up with his calculator? It couldn't solve their problems.
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Why did the computer apply for a job? It wanted to get more bytes in its life!
My IQ's on a Diet
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I recently took an IQ test and got the results. The good news is, I'm officially considered intelligent. The bad news is, my IQ is on a diet – it's trying to lose a few points. Apparently, my brain thinks it's carrying extra cognitive weight.
Dumb Luck vs. Smart Choices
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They say luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Well, I must be the exception because most of my opportunities come when I'm least prepared. Maybe intelligence is just knowing how to make the best out of a situation that you didn't see coming. Or maybe I'm just really good at pretending I planned it that way.
Overthinking 101
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They say overthinking is a sign of intelligence. If that's true, I'm a genius. I once spent an entire afternoon contemplating the deeper meaning of a fortune cookie message. Spoiler alert: It didn't have one.
Genius at Self-Sabotage
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My intelligence is like a superpower, but instead of using it for good, I use it to come up with the most elaborate excuses for being late. Sorry, boss, I was detained by the profound philosophical implications of snoozing my alarm clock.
The Smart Aleck Dilemma
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Being intelligent has its challenges. I've been called a smart aleck so many times; I'm starting to think smart aleck is Latin for stop showing off your vocabulary. Now, I'm torn between using big words and making friends. It's a real lexical dilemma.
Genius or Forgetful?
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People say geniuses often forget simple things because their minds are too busy with complex thoughts. Well, I must be a super genius because I once forgot my own name while trying to remember the WiFi password. Priorities, right?
The Battle of Wits
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You know, they say intelligence is sexy. Well, if that's true, then I must be a real heartthrob at Mensa meetings. I tried impressing a date once by solving a Rubik's Cube in record time. Turns out, she was more impressed by someone who could open a bag of chips without making a mess.
High IQ, Low GPS
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They say intelligence is knowing the right answer, but wisdom is knowing when to Google it. Well, I've got the high IQ part down, but my sense of direction is so bad, Google Maps once asked me if I was sure I wanted to go home.
Genius in the Making
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People always talk about intelligence being genetic. Well, my family tree must have a few missing branches. My mom used to say I was a genius, but I think she confused 'genius' with 'genetically predisposed to leave the house without my keys.
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