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Why did the hypocrite become a weather reporter? They loved predicting rain while carrying an umbrella on a sunny day!
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Why did the hypocrite bring a ladder to the bar? They wanted to reach a whole new level of double standards!
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Why did the hypocrite become a lifeguard? They wanted to save face while pretending to save lives!
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Why did the hypocrite refuse to play hide and seek? Because they were afraid of being found out!
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Why did the hypocrite get a job at the bakery? They wanted to knead the dough without getting their hands dirty!
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Why did the hypocrite become a gardener? Because they loved planting seeds of doubt!
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Why did the hypocrite go to the comedy club? To practice laughing at their own contradictions!
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I had a friend who preached about work-life balance while drowning in coffee and pulling all-nighters. I told him, 'Dude, you're living a work-life imbalance. Your coffee-to-blood ratio is proof of that.'
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I recently discovered that my fridge is a hypocrite. It has a 'vegetable crisper' drawer, but every time I open it, I find chocolate hiding in there. I guess my fridge is on a secret mission to turn me into a chocovore.
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Hypocrites are like GPS devices. They tell you the right way to go, but you can't help but wonder if they've ever taken a wrong turn in their entire existence. 'Recalculating morals, recalculating ethics.'
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You know you're dealing with a real hypocrite when they give you relationship advice while their own love life resembles a soap opera. It's like getting diet tips from someone who's on a first-name basis with every fast-food cashier in town.
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I love how people complain about technology while posting their grievances on social media using the latest gadgets. It's like protesting against water while taking a shower—hypocrisy, the 21st-century edition.
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I knew someone who claimed to be a minimalist. Their house looked like a museum exhibit for clutter. I asked, 'Is this minimalism, or are you just training for the 'Hoarders' reality show?'
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Parents can be the biggest hypocrites. They tell you not to lie, but they've got Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny in their deception lineup. It's like a preschool version of 'The Usual Suspects.'
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Ever notice how the guy lecturing you about saving the environment drives a massive gas-guzzling SUV? It's like he's saying, 'Save the planet, but only if it doesn't inconvenience me or cramp my spacious driving experience.'
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I've got a neighbor who preaches about kindness and goodwill. Yet, every time it snows, he throws the snow from his driveway onto mine. I guess that's his version of spreading 'neighborly love.'
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