10 Jokes For Hypocrite

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Apr 02 2025

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You know you're a hypocrite when you start a diet every Monday and end up treating yourself for making it halfway through Tuesday. Salad today, pizza tomorrow – balance, right?
Isn't it funny how we criticize others for texting and driving, and then we're sitting at a red light sending that "LOL" reply? Yeah, because apparently, our texts are important enough to risk lives, but theirs aren't.
Ever notice how everyone becomes an environmentalist until it's time to give up their 20-minute showers? Suddenly, saving the planet takes a backseat to a spa-worthy bathing experience.
You know someone's a true hypocrite when they preach about the importance of punctuality and then show up to the meeting 15 minutes late, blaming it on "traffic" every single time.
I find it hilarious when someone insists they're a great listener but interrupts you mid-sentence to tell you about their weekend. Oh, the sweet melody of selective hearing.
You ever notice how people who claim they hate drama are the ones with the biggest bag of popcorn, just waiting for the show to start? I mean, come on, Brenda, you're not fooling anyone with that "I just want peace" mug.
I love when people say, "Money can't buy happiness," but they're shopping at a place called "Retail Therapy." I guess they're just testing the theory, one purchase at a time.
People who claim they never gossip are like human tabloids. They're just subtler, like, "I'm not saying she's a gossip, but if you see her, ask about Linda's new cat.
It's amusing how we complain about being overwhelmed with choices at the grocery store, but then we spend 30 minutes deciding which show to binge-watch on a streaming service with 10,000 options.
Have you ever noticed that the loudest anti-social media activists are the ones posting about it on Facebook? I guess they missed the irony while updating their status for the fifth time that day.

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