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You know you're a hypocrite when you start a diet every Monday and end up treating yourself for making it halfway through Tuesday. Salad today, pizza tomorrow – balance, right?
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Isn't it funny how we criticize others for texting and driving, and then we're sitting at a red light sending that "LOL" reply? Yeah, because apparently, our texts are important enough to risk lives, but theirs aren't.
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Ever notice how everyone becomes an environmentalist until it's time to give up their 20-minute showers? Suddenly, saving the planet takes a backseat to a spa-worthy bathing experience.
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You know someone's a true hypocrite when they preach about the importance of punctuality and then show up to the meeting 15 minutes late, blaming it on "traffic" every single time.
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I find it hilarious when someone insists they're a great listener but interrupts you mid-sentence to tell you about their weekend. Oh, the sweet melody of selective hearing.
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You ever notice how people who claim they hate drama are the ones with the biggest bag of popcorn, just waiting for the show to start? I mean, come on, Brenda, you're not fooling anyone with that "I just want peace" mug.
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I love when people say, "Money can't buy happiness," but they're shopping at a place called "Retail Therapy." I guess they're just testing the theory, one purchase at a time.
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People who claim they never gossip are like human tabloids. They're just subtler, like, "I'm not saying she's a gossip, but if you see her, ask about Linda's new cat.
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It's amusing how we complain about being overwhelmed with choices at the grocery store, but then we spend 30 minutes deciding which show to binge-watch on a streaming service with 10,000 options.
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