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Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
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My wife told me she needs more space. I said, 'You're on Earth, where else do you want to go?
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Why don't husbands ever win arguments with their wives? Because they apologize first!
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My wife told me I should be more affectionate. Now I have two girlfriends – her and my pillow.
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