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Why is it that husbands have a selective hearing mode? "Honey, I told you to take out the trash." Suddenly, he's got the auditory precision of a hawk when it comes to sports scores, but household chores? It's like trying to communicate with a rock.
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I asked my wife, "Why do we say 'husband and wife' and not 'wife and husband'? Is there some alphabetical hierarchy in marriage?" She looked at me and said, "It's alphabetical, honey. Just like the order of apologies after an argument.
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Husband" and "Wife" are like the two main characters in a sitcom. One thinks they're in control, while the other is secretly pulling the strings. It's the classic "I wear the pants in this relationship" until laundry day arrives, and it's a battle of the missing socks.
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You know you're married when the phrase "We need to talk" strikes more fear into your heart than any horror movie ever could. It's the suspense that gets you. Will it be about the dishes, the laundry, or the mysterious disappearance of the last piece of chocolate?
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You ever notice how "husband" and "wifi" have a lot in common? They both promise to connect you for life, but the moment there's a glitch, all hell breaks loose. And rebooting? Well, that usually involves a shopping spree for the latest gadgets.
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Why is it that when a wife says, "Honey, we need to talk," the husband immediately starts mentally rehearsing his alibi? It's like an involuntary response, as if the dog ate the remote and he's innocent!
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Marriage is a lot like learning a new language. At first, it's all sweet whispers and romantic phrases. But over time, it turns into, "Did you just say something about my mother, or was that a linguistic slip?
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In the English language, "husband" and "wife" both have the word "and" in between. It's a subtle reminder that in marriage, you're a team. A team that sometimes argues over who left the bathroom light on at 3 am, but hey, teamwork makes the dream work, right?
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You ever notice how a husband can find the remote control in under five seconds, but locating a misplaced item in the fridge is like a quest for the Holy Grail? "Honey, have you seen the butter? It's right next to the ketchup. No, not that ketchup, the other one.
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