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Joke Types
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Why did the cookie go to therapy? It had too many chips on its shoulder, and the other cookies said, 'How dare you crumble under pressure!
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing, and the lettuce said, 'How dare you saucy thing!
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Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems, and the other books said, 'How dare you bring us down with your issues!
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Why did the music teacher get kicked out of the band? She had too much treble, and the other musicians said, 'How dare you hit those high notes without warning!
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Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired of people saying, 'How dare you ride me so much!
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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field, and the other scarecrows said, 'How dare you show us up!
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Why did the pencil break up with the eraser? It said, 'How dare you keep rubbing out my mistakes!
How Dare You: The Battle Cry of My Morning Alarm
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You know you're in for a rough day when the first thing you hear in the morning is not birds chirping or soothing music, but Siri shouting, How dare you! I'm just trying to wake up, Siri, not negotiate world peace!
Online Shopping Regrets
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I ordered something online, and the delivery guy gave me a look that said, How dare you make me climb all those stairs! I didn't realize I was signing up for the guilt edition of Amazon Prime.
The Gym and 'How Dare You'
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I tried going to the gym recently, and the treadmill gave me this judgmental look, like, How dare you show up after that pizza last night? I didn't sign up for a workout; I signed up for a guilt trip!
Parents and Technology
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My parents just discovered emojis, and now every text from them ends with a how dare you emoji. I don't think they quite get the subtleties of the smiley face. It's like emotional whiplash in a tiny yellow circle.
Relationships and 'How Dare You'
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You ever notice that 'how dare you' is like the secret weapon in relationships? Forget flowers or chocolates; just look your partner dead in the eyes and say, How dare you, and watch the sparks fly. It's the new 'I love you' in my house.
Traffic Troubles
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Traffic in the city is like a 'how dare you' parade. Everyone cutting each other off, honking, and giving each other dirty looks. It's like we're all in a competition for the 'How Dare You Olympics,' and I'm just trying to win gold in patience.
Pet Problems
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My dog learned a new trick - 'how dare you' on command. Now, whenever I ask him to do something, he just gives me this indignant look like he's auditioning for a canine soap opera. I'm living with the Marlon Brando of dogs.
Talking to Myself
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I caught myself talking to myself in the mirror, and even my reflection had a 'how dare you' expression. I guess I'm not even safe from judgment in the privacy of my own bathroom.
Talking to Siri
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Siri and I have a complicated relationship. I asked her for directions, and she hit me with a, How dare you not know where you're going! I swear, if my phone could roll its eyes, it would've.
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