17 Jokes For Hospice

Puns

Updated on: May 14 2025

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I told my friend I was going to a hospice-themed party. They said, 'That sounds like a real dying affair!
I asked the hospice chef for the secret ingredient in their soup. They said, 'A dash of gallows humor.
I told the hospice worker they should start a comedy club. They said, 'We're already booked for life!
Why did the hospice nurse bring a ladder to work? Because she heard the patients needed a little pick-me-up!
What did the hospice patient say when asked about the food? 'It's to die for!
I asked the hospice nurse if they could fix my broken leg. They said, 'Sorry, we're only good at extending life, not limbs.
What's a hospice worker's favorite game? Bedside charades!

Hospice Dance Party

They had a dance party at the hospice last night. It was wild. They played the Bee Gees' Stayin' Alive, and for a moment, everyone forgot where they were. Spoiler alert: not everyone stayed alive.

Hospice of Horrors

You know you're in a rough neighborhood when the local hospice has a drive-thru option. I mean, they're just cutting out the middle man and going straight to the afterlife express lane!

Hospice Karaoke

At the hospice, they have karaoke nights. The most requested song? I Will Survive. I mean, if you're singing that in a hospice, you're either incredibly optimistic or completely missing the point.

Hospice Escape Room

Visited a hospice that's taking a creative approach. They've got an escape room. It's called The Great Beyond. Spoiler alert: nobody ever makes it out.

Hospice Yelp Reviews

I saw online reviews for a hospice the other day. One person gave it one star and complained, Terrible service, didn't die on time. I guess even in the afterlife, you can't escape bad Yelp ratings.

Hospice Dating App

I heard they're launching a dating app exclusive to hospice residents. It's called Ghosted. Because nothing says romance like a love that transcends the mortal coil.

Hospice Bingo Night

They're trying to lighten the mood at the hospice with themed nights. Last week, it was Bingo Night. The winner gets an extra dose of morphine, but honestly, who needs it after a double win of B-11 and O-69?

Hospice Standup Night

They're trying to lift spirits in the hospice with stand-up comedy. The opening line is always, Why did the ghost go to therapy? Well, turns out, even ghosts have issues with unfinished business!

Hospice Workout Plan

Visited a hospice with a fitness program. I asked, What's the workout routine? They said, Rigor mortis resistance training. If that doesn't keep you in shape, nothing will!

Hospice Pranks

I visited a hospice the other day, and they have a wicked sense of humor. They replaced the 'Do Not Resuscitate' sign with 'Press Here for Free Jello.' Let's just say, I've never seen grandpa move so fast!

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