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Ever notice how hipsters always seem to find the most unheard-of bands? I asked a hipster friend for music recommendations, and now I'm convinced I accidentally joined a cult with a banjo player.
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Hipsters and their love for obscure hobbies – they're the only people who can turn artisanal cheese making into an extreme sport. I tried it once; my cheese had more holes than a Swiss mountain.
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Hipster pet names are on another level. I met a guy with a pet goldfish named "Sir Bubblesworth III, the Aquatic Earl of Fishington." My cat's name is just "Fluffy." I clearly need to up my pet-naming game.
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You know you're at a hipster party when someone starts a debate about the ethical implications of kale consumption. Meanwhile, I'm just here wondering if there's a pizza delivery within a 10-mile radius.
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Hipsters and their commitment to being unique – I saw one with a beard so well-groomed; it had its own barber. I asked him if the beard had a name; turns out, it's called "Sir Whiskers.
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Hipster workout routines are a thing now. Instead of lifting weights, they lift vintage typewriters. I tried it, but all I got was a sore back and a rejection letter from my chiropractor.
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Hipsters love vintage clothing so much; I saw a guy wearing a T-shirt so old, even the moth holes had their own Instagram account. #FashionableFraying
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Hipsters and their fascination with obscure languages – I overheard one saying, "I'm learning a dialect spoken by only six people in a remote village." I struggle with English, but hey, good luck with your endangered linguistics degree.
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Hipster dating advice: "If they can't appreciate the beauty of a vinyl record, they're not worth your time." Well, I tried that, and now my love life is stuck in a loop.
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