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I find it funny how we all become interior designers when it comes to arranging pillows on the couch. "No, honey, that one goes on the left, and the other one has to be at a precise angle for optimal comfort. It's not just a pillow; it's a statement.
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I find it hilarious that we have all these advanced gadgets and technology, yet we still can't figure out how to make a ketchup bottle that doesn't make that awkward fart noise when you squeeze it. It's like, "Yes, I'd like some fries with a side of flatulence, please.
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I find it hilarious that the snooze button on our alarm clocks is essentially a trap. It's like a false sense of victory every morning. "Yes, I conquered waking up early today... for the next nine minutes." It's the only button that simultaneously feels like a reward and a punishment.
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You ever notice how the word "hilarious" sounds like something you'd say when you're trying to be fancy about laughing? Like, "Oh, that joke was not just funny, it was absolutely hilar!" I mean, who decided to add that extra "ious" to make laughter sound like a sophisticated event? Are we supposed to laugh with our pinkies up now?
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Speaking of technology, have you noticed that autocorrect is like that one friend who thinks they know you better than you know yourself? I text "ducking," and suddenly it thinks I'm on a farm tour. No, autocorrect, I'm not interested in poultry, just trying to express my frustration!
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Isn't it hilarious how our phones have facial recognition technology, yet they can't distinguish between a smiling face and a scowl when we're trying to unlock them? It's like, "Sorry, your phone doesn't recognize you with that resting 'I'm not impressed' face.
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Ever notice how our pets have this magical ability to pick the most inconvenient times to demand attention? It's like, "Sure, Fluffy, I'd love to play fetch right when I'm in the middle of a Netflix marathon. Your timing is impeccable!
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You ever notice how the express checkout lane at the grocery store has a way of turning into a moral dilemma? "Technically, I only have 11 items, but that person behind me has a cart full of stuff. Am I a rebel if I use the express lane, or just an efficient shopper?
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Isn't it funny how we all become amateur meteorologists when it comes to checking the weather app on our phones? "Oh, it says it's going to rain at 3 PM? Better cancel all my plans and prepare for the apocalypse. I mean, I don't want to risk a few raindrops ruining my day!
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