4 Jokes For Hatter

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jan 04 2025

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Fashion advice from the Mad Hatter? Now that's something I never thought I'd need. I mean, the guy wears a hat that's practically a bird sanctuary! But he did give me some tips. He said, "Always match your hat to your mood." So, I wore a sombrero to the office and got strange looks all day. Then he said, "Your hat should make a statement." So, I wore a neon cowboy hat to a wedding, and the only statement I made was, "Why did I think this was a good idea?" Look, if you're taking fashion advice from a guy who thinks a teacup is a hat, you might want to rethink your life choices.
You know, I recently went to this new café in town called "Mad Hatter's." I thought it would be a nice, calm place to grab a cup of coffee. Boy, was I wrong! As soon as I walked in, I felt like I'd fallen into Wonderland. There was a guy at the counter with a hat so big, I swear there was a rabbit hiding inside! And don't even get me started on the coffee options. They had everything from "Drink Me" lattes to "Off with Your Head" espressos. I asked for a simple cappuccino, and the barista responded, "One lump or two?" I said, "How about none and a refund?" I mean, I love a themed café as much as the next person, but when the Cheshire Cat starts offering me creamer, I draw the line!
You ever notice how people treat you differently based on the hat you're wearing? Like, one day I wore a baseball cap, and everyone thought I was into sports. Then, I put on a fedora, and suddenly, I'm expected to solve a mystery or something! But the real kicker? I tried on a top hat, and people started bowing and calling me "Sir." I thought, "Well, this is an upgrade!" So I walked around like I owned the place until someone yelled, "Hey, Mad Hatter, where's Alice?" That's when I realized hats are less about style and more about setting unrealistic expectations!
I attended a tea party hosted by the Mad Hatter last week. Let me tell you, it was wilder than any party I've been to. First off, the tea wasn't just hot; it was boiling like a volcano! I burned my tongue so many times, I started thinking I had superpowers. Then there was the tea etiquette. Apparently, you're supposed to pour your tea while standing on one foot and reciting the alphabet backward. I tried it, and let's just say, my tea ended up everywhere but in the cup. And the guest list? A mix of Wonderland creatures, each more eccentric than the last. By the end of the night, I was ready to shout, "Enough with the riddles! Just give me a normal cup of tea!" But, you know, in Wonderland, normal is just a setting on the Mad Hatter's hat.

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