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Why did the cell phone go to therapy? It had too many issues with its attachments!
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I broke up with my phone. It couldn't handle my constant screen time. It wanted someone more touch-sensitive!
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Why did the mobile phone file a police report? It got mugged in broad daylight!
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Why did the smartphone break up with the landline? It couldn't handle the long-distance relationship!
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My phone broke up with me over text. I guess it wasn't up for a face-to-face conversation!
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My phone and I broke up. It said I was always too distant, even when we were FaceTiming!
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My phone and I broke up. It said I was always scrolling through our problems instead of addressing them!
I Hang Up on My To-Do List, It's Just a List of Broken Promises Anyway!
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You ever make a to-do list and then look at it and think, Hang up the phone, to-do list, you're just a list of broken promises! It's like, Today, I will be productive. But then you end up binge-watching cat videos and calling it self-care. Sorry, productivity, you got hung up on.
I Hang Up on My Microwave, Because 30 Seconds Feels Like an Eternity!
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Microwaves, they're like the drama queens of the kitchen. I put something in there, and it's like, In 30 seconds, your food will be ready. I'm like, Hang up the phone, microwave, I don't have time for your theatrics! Waiting for 30 seconds feels like waiting for a Marvel post-credits scene – you know it's coming, but the suspense is killing you.
Hang Up the Phone, I'm in 2023, not a Time-Travel Call Center!
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Alright, so I get this note, hang up the phone. I'm thinking, who still hangs up phones these days? I'm not in a time-travel call center, folks. I'm in 2023, not back in the era where you had to slam down the receiver to make a statement. Nowadays, we just press a button and casually end a call, unless it's with our parents, in which case, we just toss the whole phone into the ocean.
I Hang Up on the Scale – It Can't Handle the Weight of My Emotional Baggage!
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The scale and I have a complicated relationship. Every time I step on it, it's like, Hang up the phone, scale, you can't handle the weight of my emotional baggage! I'm not overweight; I'm just carrying around a few extra pounds of self-doubt and unresolved childhood issues. Sorry, scale, you're not equipped for that kind of heavy lifting.
Hang Up the Phone – My Motto for Awkward Conversations at Family Gatherings!
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Family gatherings can be awkward, right? That's when I whip out my motto: Hang up the phone. Not literally, of course – that would be rude. But mentally, I'm hanging up on those uncomfortable conversations faster than a call with a telemarketer. Aunt Mildred, I don't want to talk about my love life; let's discuss something less traumatic, like the weather.
My Phone's So Used to Being Hung Up, It Has Separation Anxiety!
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My phone has separation anxiety because I hang up so much. It's like, Why do you keep leaving me, Dave? I'm sorry, phone, it's not you; it's the bill. But hey, if phones could talk back, mine would be saying, Hang up the phone... and maybe consider therapy.
I Hang Up So Fast, Telemarketers Think They've Been Ghosted!
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You ever get those annoying telemarketing calls? They're like, Hey, would you be interested in switching your internet provider? I'm like, Hang up the phone! I hang up so fast, those telemarketers think they've been ghosted on a blind date. They're sitting there, staring at their phone, wondering what they did wrong. Sorry, Susan from the cable company, it's not you, it's my sanity.
Hang Up the Phone – Advice I Give to My GPS When It's Confused!
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You ever have your GPS give you directions that make no sense? It's like, In 500 feet, turn left into the lake. I'm like, Hang up the phone, GPS, you're drunk! I treat my GPS like a friend who's had too much to drink at a party – it's lost, it's confused, and it needs to hang up and go home.
I Hang Up on My Alarm Clock Every Morning, It's Not a Wake-Up Call, It's a Breakup Call!
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Waking up in the morning is a struggle, right? My alarm clock tries to give me a wake-up call, and I'm like, Hang up the phone! I treat it like a bad relationship. Every morning, it's a breakup call. Sorry, Mr. Alarm Clock, it's not me, it's the fact that you interrupt my beautiful dreams of being a ninja pirate astronaut.
Hang Up the Phone – My Advice to My Refrigerator When It's Complaining!
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My refrigerator has started making weird noises lately. It's like, Hum, buzz, click. I'm like, Hang up the phone, fridge, I didn't sign up for a concert subscription! I don't need my kitchen appliances forming a band. I just want my leftovers to stay cold without a serenade.
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