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Why did the weightlifter bring a ladder to the gym? Because he wanted to reach new heights!
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What do you call a gym that specializes in boxing for kangaroos? A pouching bag!
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How did the gym rat get locked out? He lost his gains, couldn't shoulder the door!
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What do you call a potato at the gym? A couch potato trying to become a sweet potato!
Gym People
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Have you ever accidentally made eye contact with someone at the gym? It's like a game of chicken – who can look away first. I'm just trying to figure out how to use this elliptical, not challenging you to a staring contest. Spoiler alert: I always lose.
Gym People
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You ever notice how gym people are always carrying around those massive water bottles? I mean, are they hydrating or preparing for a water-balloon fight? I feel like I need a forklift just to lift their Aquafina.
Gym People
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Why do gym people wear headphones so big they look like they're auditioning for a role in a sci-fi movie? I tried it once, and the only thing I accomplished was accidentally singing out loud because I couldn't hear myself. Now I know why they call it a workout playlist – it works you out of social situations.
Gym People
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There's always that one person at the gym who sweats more than they work out. I'm not saying it's a competition, but if it were, they'd be the undisputed champion. I need to borrow their towel – not for the gym, just for the next time I watch a tearjerker movie.
Gym People
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I overheard two gym buffs arguing about protein shakes. One said he takes them for muscle growth, the other for recovery. I chimed in, I drink them because they're the closest thing to an adult milkshake without judgment. Who says you can't enjoy your fitness journey with a side of chocolate flavor?
Gym People
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Gym people love to flaunt their fitness tracker stats. I ran five miles today. Well, I walked five miles to the fridge – beat that. I don't need a Fitbit; I need a Sofa-Sitter that congratulates me for binge-watching a whole season without moving.
Gym People
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Gym mirrors are both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, you can check your form. On the other hand, you catch glimpses of yourself doing exercises that look like you're imitating a constipated flamingo. Note to self: Never skip leg day, but maybe skip the mirror.
Gym People
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I asked a personal trainer for advice, and he gave me this whole spiel about balanced nutrition and a strict workout routine. I nodded like I understood, but in my head, I was thinking, Bro, I just wanted to know if pizza can count as a vegetable.
Gym People
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Gym people have this secret language of grunts and nods. I tried fitting in, but instead of looking strong, I looked like I was trying to communicate with dolphins. Maybe I should start a new fitness trend: interpretive dance workouts. Cardio with a side of jazz hands.
Gym People
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I tried going to the gym once, and I saw a guy lifting weights with a look of intense concentration, like he was solving world hunger. Dude, it's a bicep curl, not a calculus problem. I just want to know if I'm doing it right or auditioning for a role in a superhero movie.
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