4 Jokes About Gym People

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jul 30 2024

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Cardio day is a special kind of torture, isn't it? You've got people on the treadmills watching Netflix, reading novels, basically turning it into a mobile living room. I tried doing that once, and I ended up nearly face-planting because I got too invested in a crime drama.
And then there's that person who thinks it's a good idea to strike up a conversation while you're gasping for air on the elliptical. Dude, can't you see I'm in the middle of a cardio crisis? I can barely form a sentence, let alone discuss the weather.
Can we talk about gym fashion for a minute? Some people look like they stepped out of a fitness magazine, and then there's me, looking like I just escaped a laundry hamper. I mean, who are these people coordinating their neon sneakers with their workout gloves? I'm just here hoping my socks match.
And don't get me started on the gym mirrors. It's like they have a contract with Lululemon because everyone suddenly turns into a runway model. I catch myself flexing in the mirror, trying to convince myself I'm a fitness influencer, but the only thing I'm influencing is the pizza delivery guy.
You ever notice how some people treat the gym like it's the Colosseum? I mean, I'm just trying to do some squats, and there's this guy next to me grunting like he's in the middle of a fierce battle with a protein shake. Dude, it's not a war zone; it's a workout zone.
And then there are those folks who bring their gallon-sized water jugs. I get it; hydration is important. But when you're swinging that thing around like a medieval mace, it's a hazard to everyone nearby. I'm just waiting for a splash zone warning at the entrance.
Weightlifting at the gym is like attending a noisy concert. You've got the clanging of dumbbells, the rhythmic grunts, and the occasional high-pitched squeak of the weight machines. It's like Mozart composed a symphony for muscle heads.
And let's not forget the territorial aspect of the gym. You leave your water bottle unattended for a minute, and suddenly it's claimed like you're marking your territory in the wild. I half expect someone to start growling if I accidentally wander into their lifting zone.
So, next time you're at the gym, enjoy the show – it's the most entertaining place in town.

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