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Gravestones are like the ultimate mic drop. It's like, "I'm out, but hey, remember that one time I ate a whole pizza by myself? Good times.
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Gravestones should come with a 'spoiler alert' for the afterlife. "Here lies Bob, who finally knows what happens in Season 23 of the Universe.
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You know you're an adult when you start thinking about your ideal gravestone inscription. Mine would be, "Here lies a person who couldn't parallel park to save their life.
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I saw a gravestone that simply said, "I told you I was sick." Talk about leaving a message from beyond the grave – that's some commitment to proving a point.
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Gravestones are like the Yelp reviews of the afterlife. "Two stars - great location, but the service was a bit slow.
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Gravestones are just birth certificates with an expiration date. "Congratulations, it's a human! Best before 2075.
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I saw a gravestone the other day that just said, "Gone fishing." I guess even in the afterlife, some people just can't resist a good catch.
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You ever notice how gravestones are basically the original status update? "Died peacefully in their sleep" – I can only hope my Facebook status is that positive when I go.
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Gravestones should have a section for regrets. "Here lies Sarah, who regretted never learning how to juggle. May she rest in peace without ever tossing more than two balls at once.
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