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Why did the scarecrow break up with the cornstalk? It wasn't his type; he wanted someone with more 'grain'!
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Why was the grain always invited to parties? Because it knew how to have a kernel of a good time!
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Why did the grain refuse to fight in the war? It was a pacifist...a peace of grain, you could say!
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Why did the grain break up with the rice? It felt they were moving in different 'grain' directions!
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Why did the grain get promoted? It had a fantastic ear for listening to the stalkholders!
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I went on a low-carb diet once, and let me tell you, I was hangry enough to start a riot. If anyone tells you they're cutting out carbs for fun, they're probably a secret superhero with an iron will.
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I tried a gluten-free diet once, but then I realized gluten is basically the VIP section for flavor. Without it, food is just standing in line, hoping to get into the taste club.
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I read somewhere that ancient Egyptians believed grains were a gift from the gods. Well, if the gods wanted to gift me something, they could have gone with something more exciting, like a Netflix subscription or a lifetime supply of nachos.
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Whole grains are like the overachievers of the food world. They're like, 'Look at me, I've got layers!' Well, I've got layers too, but they're more like layers of pizza.
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People talk about the benefits of whole grains, but let's be honest, the real benefit is feeling smug at brunch. 'Oh, you're having a croissant? That's cute. I'm saving the world, one quinoa bowl at a time.'
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Grains are like the unsung heroes of our meals. They're there, quietly doing their job, while we focus on the flashy ingredients. It's like they're the backup dancers in the food industry – essential, but rarely in the spotlight.
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They say quinoa is a complete protein. I don't know what that means, but I like to think my protein is a well-rounded individual with a good sense of humor and maybe a hidden talent for juggling.
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I recently switched to brown rice, trying to be healthier. Now, my rice has more fiber than my internet connection. I'm just waiting for it to start streaming my favorite shows.
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I thought about going on a no-carb diet, but then I realized life without carbs is like a sandwich without bread – it just falls apart, and you're left with a mess on your hands. I'll take the mess with a side of garlic bread, please.
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