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Fitness trainers love acronyms. I'm pretty sure they have a secret code language. "Today's workout is the ABCDEFG workout." I'm just waiting for them to throw in some emojis to complete the fitness hieroglyphics.
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Have you ever noticed that fitness trainers never seem to sweat? Meanwhile, I'm over here dripping like a leaky faucet, questioning if I accidentally signed up for a hot yoga class instead.
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I asked my fitness trainer for advice on staying motivated. They said, "Just picture yourself in a swimsuit on a beach." I tried that, but all I could think about was how much sand gets stuck to sweaty sunscreen.
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Ever notice how fitness trainers have this superhero-like ability to spot someone not doing the exercise correctly from across the gym? It's like they have fitness x-ray vision. Meanwhile, I'm over here hoping I'm not doing the "awkward gym stare" wrong.
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I tried doing a high-intensity workout once. The only thing that got intense was my craving for a post-workout burger. I think I might have misinterpreted the term "HIIT" – it stands for "Hunger Inducing Intense Training," right?
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You ever notice how fitness trainers always have this infectious enthusiasm at 6 a.m.? I barely have the energy to put on matching socks, and they're over there, cheering like it's the Super Bowl of jumping jacks.
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I hired a fitness trainer once. They asked me to do burpees, and I swear, I thought they said "eat cookies." Needless to say, my workout didn't quite live up to their expectations.
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Why do fitness trainers always have the best playlist during workouts? I'm convinced they have a secret DJ degree hidden behind those protein powder containers. I tried creating a workout playlist once, and it ended up being a mix of elevator music and infomercial jingles.
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Fitness trainers always talk about the importance of hydration. I'm over here struggling to drink eight glasses of water a day while they're sipping on what looks like liquid motivation from their fancy gym water bottles.
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