17 First Line Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Feb 03 2025

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I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now I'm a banker because I need dough.
Why did the pencil break up with the eraser? It felt it needed to draw the line on their relationship.
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts, or any other internal organs for that matter.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I just couldn't concentrate.
I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now I'm a comedian because I need the dough to keep rolling in.
I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now I'm a gardener because I let my dough grow on trees.

Microwave Time Travel

Have you ever tried reheating coffee in the microwave? It's like a time-travel experiment gone wrong. I put it in for 30 seconds, and when I take it out, it's not hot, but suddenly I'm receiving stock updates from 2035!

Auto-Correct Antics

Auto-correct is like that friend who always wants to complete your sentences but ends up starting a whole new argument. I texted my friend, I'll be there in a bit, and auto-correct changed it to, I'll buy a biscuit. Now I'm stuck wondering if I owe him a biscuit!

Coffee Shop Jargon

I went to a fancy coffee shop, and the barista asked if I wanted a macchiato. I said, Sure, but can you macchiato with extra syllables so I can understand what I'm ordering?

Smart Home Rebellion

My smart home is starting to get a little too smart. It dimmed the lights and started playing romantic music when I was just trying to watch a horror movie. I had to sit there, surrounded by ambiance, yelling, I'm just here for the jump scares, not a candlelit dinner!

The Exotic Grocery Store

You ever been to one of those exotic grocery stores where everything has a label you can't pronounce? I bought something called quinoa, and I swear it sounds like an ancient curse word. I asked the cashier, Do I eat it, or do I summon a health-conscious demon?

Virtual Meeting Woes

Virtual meetings are the new normal, but I can't be the only one who has accidentally unmuted and shared my deepest thoughts about the meeting. Suddenly, everyone hears me saying, Is it just me, or does the boss sound like a motivational cat poster?

The Gym Confusion

I signed up for a gym recently, and there's this one machine that looks like a torture device from the medieval times. I asked the trainer how to use it, and he said, Oh, it's for abs. I looked at him and said, I was going for a six-pack, not trying to reenact Game of Thrones!

Self-Checkout Saga

I love the self-checkout at the grocery store, but it's a relationship filled with betrayal. It's like a mini-drama every time. Unexpected item in the bagging area. Oh really? Because I'm pretty sure I expected everything I put in there!

Dating Apps Dilemma

I tried a dating app recently, and the algorithm must be on a coffee high. It suggested someone who loves long walks on the beach and late-night philosophical discussions. Meanwhile, I'm over here like, Can we just agree on a pizza topping first?

The High-Tech Thermostat

I got a new high-tech thermostat that's supposed to learn my habits. But every time I change the temperature, it gives me this judgmental look. I'm just waiting for it to say, Really? Again? You're messing with the climate more than humans are messing with the planet!

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