19 Jokes About Expensive Things

Puns

Updated on: Jun 12 2024

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Why did the millionaire bring a pencil to the bank? To draw interest!
I bought a painting of a boat. It really made my living room look yachts better!
Why did the wallet break up with the credit card? It couldn't handle the expensive lifestyle!
What do you call someone who steals energy drinks? A jolt-napper!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything—except my bank account after buying a designer watch!
I asked the waiter for a goldfish sandwich. He said, 'Sorry, we only serve tuna here!
Why did the rich man bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
I asked the shopkeeper if my new diamond-studded phone was durable. He said, 'Yes, it's a real gem!
Why did the rich guy bring a ladder to the wine tasting? He heard the drinks were on a higher shelf!
I considered getting a personal trainer, but when I saw the rates, I decided my current workout routine of lifting my credit card statement was enough to break a sweat.
I bought a phone that's supposed to be 'state-of-the-art.' Turns out, the only thing 'state-of-the-art' about it is how much it cost me. I think it's secretly made from melted-down gold bars!
Living in a world where everything's getting more expensive, even my dreams are on a payment plan. Last night I had a dream about owning a yacht, and now I'm on a 30-year subconscious mortgage!
They say money can't buy happiness, but have you ever tried to frown while driving a convertible? Sure, my bank account might be empty, but my heart is full of regret and wind-blown hair.
I asked my financial advisor for advice on dealing with expensive things, and he told me, 'Just don't look at the price tag.' Well, that's easy for him to say – he's not the one who accidentally bought a car while shopping for groceries!
I tried to impress my date by taking her to a fancy restaurant. The menu had no prices listed, just vague descriptions of 'market price.' I felt like I was bidding on a piece of steak in a secret auction!
I went to a spa that claimed their treatments were so exclusive, they cost an arm and a leg. Well, jokes on them – I left with just one arm and one leg, but at least I got a discount!
I bought a cup of coffee the other day, and when they told me the price, I asked if it came with the option to refinance. Turns out, my latte has a higher credit score than I do!
I was at the store, and I saw a pair of jeans that cost more than my entire wardrobe. I thought, 'These jeans better have the ability to do my laundry and fold themselves!'
I wanted to treat myself to a nice vacation, but the only destination my budget could afford was 'Staycation City.' The brochure promised breathtaking views of my living room and a five-star review from my cat.

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21-year-olds
Oct 16 2024

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