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I bought a painting of a boat. It really made my living room look yachts better!
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Why did the wallet break up with the credit card? It couldn't handle the expensive lifestyle!
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Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything—except my bank account after buying a designer watch!
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I asked the waiter for a goldfish sandwich. He said, 'Sorry, we only serve tuna here!
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Why did the rich man bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
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I asked the shopkeeper if my new diamond-studded phone was durable. He said, 'Yes, it's a real gem!
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Why did the rich guy bring a ladder to the wine tasting? He heard the drinks were on a higher shelf!
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I considered getting a personal trainer, but when I saw the rates, I decided my current workout routine of lifting my credit card statement was enough to break a sweat.
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I bought a phone that's supposed to be 'state-of-the-art.' Turns out, the only thing 'state-of-the-art' about it is how much it cost me. I think it's secretly made from melted-down gold bars!
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Living in a world where everything's getting more expensive, even my dreams are on a payment plan. Last night I had a dream about owning a yacht, and now I'm on a 30-year subconscious mortgage!
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They say money can't buy happiness, but have you ever tried to frown while driving a convertible? Sure, my bank account might be empty, but my heart is full of regret and wind-blown hair.
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I asked my financial advisor for advice on dealing with expensive things, and he told me, 'Just don't look at the price tag.' Well, that's easy for him to say – he's not the one who accidentally bought a car while shopping for groceries!
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I tried to impress my date by taking her to a fancy restaurant. The menu had no prices listed, just vague descriptions of 'market price.' I felt like I was bidding on a piece of steak in a secret auction!
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I went to a spa that claimed their treatments were so exclusive, they cost an arm and a leg. Well, jokes on them – I left with just one arm and one leg, but at least I got a discount!
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I bought a cup of coffee the other day, and when they told me the price, I asked if it came with the option to refinance. Turns out, my latte has a higher credit score than I do!
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I was at the store, and I saw a pair of jeans that cost more than my entire wardrobe. I thought, 'These jeans better have the ability to do my laundry and fold themselves!'
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