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Joke Types
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Why did the English major always carry a red pen? Because they love correcting everyone's mistakes!
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What's an English major's favorite way to make coffee? A classic brew – strong on symbolism and rich in metaphor!
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Why did the English major bring a pencil to the party? In case he wanted to draw conclusions!
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Why did the English major open a bakery? To turn words into con-dough-sions!
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Why do English majors love music? Because they appreciate the art of the prose-cussion!
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Why did the English major bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to reach the heights of prose!
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I asked my English major friend to tell me a joke. He replied, 'Syntax me up!
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I told my English major friend a joke about grammar. He didn't find it very comma-dic, but I thought it was pun-derful!
Novel Problems
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You know you're talking to an English major when a simple question turns into a Dickens novel. I asked one, How was your day? and got a response like, It was the best of times, it was the worst of times – mainly because my coffee machine broke.
Grammar Police on Patrol
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I met an English major who claimed to be part of the Grammar Police. I asked if they ever let loose and committed a grammatical crime themselves. They said, I once split an infinitive – it was rebellious, but I needed the space!
The Grammar of Love
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An English major's idea of a romantic evening? Correcting each other's love letters. Honey, this metaphor is a bit cliché, and your simile game needs improvement. Let me edit your heart.
Shakespearean Texting
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I tried texting an English major in iambic pentameter. They responded, Thou art too ambitious with thy poetic thumbs. Speak plainly, forsooth, emojis are the true language of our time!
Wordsmith's Dilemma
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English majors have a hard time making decisions. I asked one where they wanted to eat, and they replied, I crave sustenance at the intersection of gastronomic delight and linguistic euphony. So, we ended up at a place called Food & Synonyms.
Lost in Translation
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You ever talk to an English major? It's like trying to navigate a linguistic maze with them. I asked one what their favorite childhood game was, and they said, I loved playing 'Semantic Hide and Seek' - you seek meaning while hiding from clarity!
Literary Tinder
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English majors approach dating like it's a literary analysis. One told me, I swiped left because his bio lacked character development, and his profile picture had no plot twist.
Punctuation Drama
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Ever argue with an English major about punctuation? It's like a Shakespearean tragedy. I told one, Commas and periods are friends. They replied, No, they're frenemies - constantly battling for sentence supremacy!
Bookstore Confessions
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I overheard two English majors in a bookstore arguing over the pronunciation of a character's name. I thought they were scholars, but turns out they were just debating fictional name syntax. Classic English major move.
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