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English majors have this uncanny talent for finding symbolism in everything. You could be eating a sandwich, and suddenly it's a metaphor for the struggle between order and chaos.
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English majors have a love-hate relationship with autocorrect. On one hand, it fixes typos. On the other hand, it questions their spelling prowess, and that's a tragedy worthy of Shakespearean proportions.
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The thing about English majors is they can read between the lines so well, they'll decipher hidden meanings in a shopping list. Suddenly, "eggs, milk, bread" becomes a commentary on consumerism.
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The best part about dating an English major? You get love letters that read like they were penned by Byron or Austen. The worst part? You're expected to respond in kind, and suddenly your "roses are red" poem doesn't quite make the cut.
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You know you're in the presence of an English major when a conversation about a movie turns into an in-depth analysis of its semicolons and metaphors. Suddenly, popcorn becomes a metaphor for the human condition.
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Being friends with an English major means having your grammar scrutinized more than a presidential speech. It's like living in fear of accidentally splitting an infinitive.
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English majors have this magical ability to make you feel guilty for misplacing a comma. You'd think misplacing a comma was equivalent to committing a literary crime punishable by endless eye rolls.
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I once asked an English major for a simple book recommendation. Three hours later, I had a list of 50 books, their historical context, and an analysis of how they represent the human psyche. All I wanted was a good read for the weekend.
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Ever try playing Scrabble with an English major? They turn it into a competitive Shakespearean wordplay battle. It's like stepping into a linguistic warzone armed only with "cat" and "dog.
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