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Double standards hit the gym too. Women can wear yoga pants to work out, and it's seen as normal. But if I show up in my Spider-Man pajamas, suddenly I'm the talk of the town – and not in a good way.
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It's fascinating how we praise multitasking in women, but if a man tries to watch football while cooking, suddenly it's a recipe for disaster. Sorry, I can't hear your complaints over the sizzle of these sausages.
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We're all familiar with the phrase, "Boys will be boys," right? But if I use the equivalent, "Adults will be adults," suddenly HR wants a word with me. It's like they expect me to act like a responsible, tax-paying citizen or something.
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Let's talk about selfies. If a woman takes 50 selfies to get the perfect shot, it's considered dedication. But if I take more than two, suddenly I'm self-absorbed and in need of an intervention. I'm just trying to find my good side – apparently, it's the one without judgment.
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Have you ever been told, "Don't play with your food," but then you see someone making a snowman out of mashed potatoes on the cooking show and they're hailed as a culinary genius? Last time I tried that at home, I was just labeled as "weird" and "in need of a hobby.
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Have you noticed that when a woman buys a lot of shoes, it's a "collection," but when I do it, it's a "problem"? Newsflash, my extensive sneaker collection is a work of art, not a midlife crisis.
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You ever notice how when a baby is loud in a restaurant, people find it adorable? But when I try to imitate a baby's cries for attention, suddenly I'm "disturbing the peace" and "banned from Applebee's.
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Ever been in a heated argument and heard the classic line, "Don't raise your voice at me"? Apparently, my loud voice is offensive, but when a football coach does it on TV, it's just passionate motivation. Maybe I should start wearing a headset.
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You know it's a double standard when a woman can ask, "Does this dress make me look fat?" and get a supportive answer. But when I ask the same about my sweatpants, suddenly I'm accused of setting a trap.
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