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Joke Types
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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
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Why did the mathematician disturb the peace? He couldn't find his sine of relief.
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Why did the cell phone go to therapy? It couldn't handle all the constant disturbances!
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I asked my friend if he wanted to hear a construction joke. He told me to build it up first.
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I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth. Now, every word I say comes out fresh and confident.
Ghostly Grocery Shopping
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You ever go grocery shopping and get a cart with a wonky wheel? It's like grocery shopping in hard mode. You're already trying to disturb your diet, and now you've got this cart doing the cha-cha down the aisles.
Haunted House Woes
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You ever try to watch a scary movie alone at night, and suddenly your cat knocks something over? I'm there thinking, Is that a ghost or just my clumsy cat practicing its paranormal activity?
Ghostly GPS
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My GPS sometimes takes me on the weirdest routes. I'm convinced it's possessed. It's like, Turn left into this dark alley. Don't worry; it's just a shortcut through the ghostly dimension. No thanks, Siri, I'll take the long way.
The Ghostly Thermostat
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Living with roommates is tough. One likes it cold, the other hot. It's like our thermostat is haunted, possessed by the spirits of conflicting temperature preferences. I'm just trying not to disturb the peace or catch a cold.
Haunted Diet
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I tried a new diet where you only eat food that's scared you. So far, my diet consists of haunted celery, ghost peppers, and the lingering fear of disturbing the scale every morning. Who knew my weight loss journey would be so spooky?
Ghosts in the Machine
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My computer randomly restarts sometimes, and I'm convinced there's a ghost in the machine. It's like my laptop is possessed by a tech-savvy spirit that thinks I need a break from binge-watching cat videos.
Late-Night Snack Scare
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I tried to be healthy and snack on celery at midnight. The crunch echoed through my quiet house. It felt like I was summoning ghosts with every bite. If there's a ghost diet, I think I unintentionally joined it.
Haunted House Cleaning
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I hired a house cleaner, and they rearranged all my furniture. I walked in and thought, Did I hire a cleaning service or a ghost interior decorator? Now I'm living in a haunted feng shui experiment.
Paranormal Phone Calls
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I got a call from an unknown number the other day. I answered, and it was just heavy breathing. I thought, Is this a ghost or just another telemarketer trying a new sales tactic? Either way, I'm not buying what they're selling.
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