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Why did the scarecrow get a job at the department store? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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What did the hanger say to the shirt? 'You really hang in there at this department store!
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I used to work at a department store's perfume counter. It was a scent-sational experience!
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I went to the department store and asked the assistant, 'Where can I find a fridge?' He said, 'Well, that's a cool story!
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What did the scarf say to the hat in the department store? 'You go ahead, I'll just hang around!
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I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug and said, 'You were definitely a clearance item at the department store.
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I told my friend I could buy anything at the department store for just a dollar. He bet me a hundred bucks I couldn't. Turns out, he was right. The dollar store is next door!
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The other day I went to a department store. Turns out, the only department they specialized in was 'Lost Husbands.' I walked in looking for socks, but I left with a missing spouse!
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I swear, going to a department store during a sale is like participating in a battlefield reenactment. People are grabbing shirts like they're relics from an ancient civilization, and I'm there trying to find a deal without getting elbowed by a bargain-hunting ninja!
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The fitting rooms at department stores are like interrogation chambers. You enter with ten items and come out feeling like a criminal with just one! And don't get me started on that funhouse mirror. 'Oh, that's what I'd look like if I were three feet tall and made of rubber!'
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I tried out a 'personal shopper' service at a department store once. They picked out clothes that were so not my style, I felt like I was auditioning for a role in a clown ensemble! Thanks, but no thanks, I'd rather dress like a human, not a circus tent.
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Have you noticed how department stores have a perfume section that hits you like a scented brick wall? I walked in there, and suddenly I smelled like I was in a war between floral and citrus scents. I emerged from that aisle more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles!
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Do you ever notice how the music in department stores is a mix of '80s hits and elevator music? I felt like I was in a time-traveling disco, trying on bell-bottoms while humming to 'Staying Alive.' I expected John Travolta to pop out any second!
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Department stores have these fancy makeup counters where they claim they can match your skin tone perfectly. I asked the lady for my shade, and next thing I knew, I looked like a distant cousin of an Oompa Loompa! Apparently, 'natural tan' means 'pumpkin spice' to them.
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You know you're in a department store when you can't find a sales assistant to save your life. I wandered around for so long; I think I became a living mannequin by mistake! 'Excuse me, sir, could you stand still? You look fabulous in that floral skirt.'
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At a department store, the checkout lines are longer than a giraffe's neck! By the time I got to pay for my items, I had aged enough to qualify for a senior citizen discount. 'Congratulations, here's your receipt and a complimentary walking stick!'
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