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Why did the Dane bring a ladder to the park? It wanted to reach new 'heist'-s!
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Why did the Great Dane bring a ladder to the bar? Because it heard the drinks were on the house!
Dane's Superpower: Misplacing Things
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If Dane had a superpower, it would be misplacing things. I once saw him looking for his glasses while wearing them. I said, Dane, they're on your face! He goes, Oh, I thought those were my reading glasses. My regular ones are still missing. It's like his belongings are playing an eternal game of hide-and-seek.
Dane's Selfie Struggles
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Dane takes the most awkward selfies. I saw one where he was trying to look cool, but he ended up looking like he was caught in the act of sneezing. I told him, Dane, maybe stick to group photos. It's harder to notice your awkwardness when there's a distraction.
Dane's Cooking Adventures
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Dane recently decided to try his hand at cooking. I walked into his kitchen, and it looked like a crime scene. Pots and pans scattered, flour everywhere, and a burnt smell that could rival a tire fire. I asked him what he was making, and he said, Dinner, or possibly a new form of modern art.
Dane, the Mystery Man
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I've got this friend, Dane, and I swear he's like a human Rubik's Cube. Every time I think I've figured him out, he just turns a few layers, and suddenly I'm more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles. I'm starting to suspect Dane might be an undercover agent for the Department of Puzzling Personalities.
Dane's Time Zone Troubles
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Dane has a unique relationship with time zones. He called me at 3 AM and said, I forgot about the time difference. Are you awake? I'm thinking, Buddy, I'm awake now, thanks to your time-traveling phone call.
Dane's DIY Disasters
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Dane decided to do some home improvement, and let me tell you, his idea of DIY is more like Destroy It Yourself. I walked into his living room, and there's a hammer stuck in the wall, a paint can tipped over, and he's standing there with a look that says, Who knew home improvement was so complicated?
Dane and the Lost GPS
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Dane is the only person I know who manages to get lost using GPS. I'm like, Dude, it's literally telling you to turn left! And he goes, Well, left is such a subjective direction, don't you think? I'm convinced his GPS just throws in the towel and says, You're on your own, Dane.
Dane's Bucket List Blunders
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Dane shared his bucket list with me, and it's the most ambitious yet confusing list I've ever seen. It includes things like Learn to juggle flaming chainsaws and Skydiving while solving a crossword puzzle. I'm just hoping he makes it through the list without accidentally crossing off the items with a permanent marker.
The Dane Dilemma
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You ever notice how whenever someone mentions Dane, you're never quite sure if they're talking about a person or the great breed of dog? I mean, I asked my friend, Hey, did you meet Dane? and he goes, Yeah, he's got the softest fur and loves belly rubs. I'm thinking, Great, I was asking about your roommate, not your golden retriever!
Dane, the Unintentional Fashion Icon
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Dane has a fashion sense that's so unique; it's like he raided a thrift store from the future. I asked him about his outfit, and he said, I call it 'post-post-modern pre-vintage.' It's a look that says, 'I'm fashion-forward, but my laundry skills are stuck in the '90s.'
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