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Dane's wardrobe is a living proof of the space-time continuum – he somehow manages to wear clothes from the past, present, and future, all in the same week. Fashion-forward or time-traveler? You be the judge.
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I was at Dane's place the other day, and he proudly showed me his "organized chaos." Translation: he can't find anything, but he's convinced the mess has its own system. I asked him for a pen, and he pulled out a snorkel.
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Dane thinks "replying promptly" means getting back to you within the same lunar cycle. If you're expecting a quick response, you better be prepared for a cosmic waiting game.
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I asked Dane for directions once. He pulled out his phone, opened the map app, stared at it for a while, and then confidently said, "You should probably ask someone else." It's like having a human GPS that's constantly on a coffee break.
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You ever notice how Dane always claims he's five minutes away? But in Dane time, that's like a cosmic five minutes – it's a journey through black holes, a detour through a parallel universe, and maybe a quick snack on the way.
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Dane's phone must have a special setting – "Random Vibration Mode." I've never seen someone miss so many calls because their phone was "silent" or "in another room." It's like his phone is playing hide and seek, but it never wants to be found.
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Have you ever borrowed something from Dane? It's not a loan; it's an expedition. You need a map, a compass, and maybe a survival guide to find your way back to returning it.
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I told Dane I was on a diet, and he said, "Don't worry, I've got the perfect solution." He handed me a menu for a restaurant known for its deep-fried everything. I guess he thinks calories evaporate in hot oil.
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Dane's idea of a productive day is rearranging his desktop icons. It's like modern art – you stare at it, trying to find meaning, but deep down, you know it's just a bunch of colorful chaos.
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