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Why did the crazy ex-girlfriend go to therapy? To figure out how to be more psycho-logical!
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Why did the crazy ex-girlfriend become a chef? She was an expert at stirring things up!
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Why did the crazy ex-girlfriend become a gardener? Because she was great at planting doubts!
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What's a crazy ex-girlfriend's favorite dance move? The emotional cha-cha!
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What did the crazy ex-girlfriend say when asked about her favorite exercise? Stalking!
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What's a crazy ex-girlfriend's favorite board game? Guess Who's Outside Your House!
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Why did the crazy ex-girlfriend start a band? Because she was great at playing the victim!
Crazy Ex-Girlfriends
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I once had an ex who was so possessive, I half expected her to send a GPS tracker to my socks just to make sure they weren’t walking off with other feet! I tell you, I was half-expecting my toothbrush to file a restraining order.
Crazy Ex-Girlfriends
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Ever notice how after a breakup, an ex’s favorite hobby becomes rewriting history? They start recalling events like they're a Netflix producer, adding drama and suspense to moments that were as exciting as watching paint dry!
Crazy Ex-Girlfriends
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Have you ever tried to break up with someone, and suddenly, it’s like they’ve enrolled in the FBI? They know where you are, who you're with, what you had for breakfast – it’s like they majored in stalking with a minor in clinginess!
Crazy Ex-Girlfriends
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You ever dated someone whose love language was deciphering your phone’s passcode? They’d go through it like they were on a treasure hunt for evidence, and finding nothing, they’d be disappointed – as if my grocery list was hiding secret affairs!
Crazy Ex-Girlfriends
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I had an ex who was so paranoid, she thought every emoji I sent was a secret code. Why did you use the eggplant? Is that a vegetable or a cry for help? I swear, I started sending smoke signals just to throw her off the scent!
Crazy Ex-Girlfriends
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You know, when they say love is blind, they forgot to mention it also comes with a side of selective memory. Once an ex is done with you, suddenly, they remember every little thing you did wrong like they have a PhD in Relationship Revisionism!
Crazy Ex-Girlfriends
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Ever met an ex who was convinced they were the protagonist in a soap opera? They’d show up at your doorstep unannounced, dramatic music playing in the background, ready to recite monologues about how they should win an Oscar for Best Performance in an Unwanted Reunion.
Crazy Ex-Girlfriends
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I had an ex who’d disappear and reappear in my life more times than a magician doing a disappearing act. I half-expected her to start each conversation with, Ta-da! I’m back, and I brought emotional baggage as souvenirs!
Crazy Ex-Girlfriends
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You ever notice how ex-girlfriends always claim they’re moving on, but their GPS is set to your life coordinates? I’m telling you, they’re like lost delivery packages, except instead of Amazon, it’s emotional baggage being shipped straight to your door!
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