10 Jokes About Covenants

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Dec 03 2024

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I recently had to sign a covenant that was longer than most novels I've read. I thought, "If I'm going to spend this much time reading, there better be a plot twist or at least a surprise ending. Spoiler alert: it was just a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo.
I love how covenants use phrases like "in perpetuity." I had to Google that one. Turns out it means forever. Signing a covenant feels less like a commitment and more like joining a never-ending book club with rules you can't escape.
Covenants sound so official, like you're making a sacred vow. But let's be real, the only thing sacred about them is the amount of fine print. It's like they're saying, "We promise to make this as confusing as possible, and you better not break any rules you didn't even know existed.
You ever read through a covenant and think, "Is this a legal document or a secret code? Do I need a decoder ring to figure out what 'force majeure' means?" I swear, lawyers must attend Hogwarts to master this magical language.
Have you ever tried negotiating a covenant? It's like trying to haggle with a genie. "I wish for fewer restrictions and more loopholes." Spoiler: the genie-lawyer just laughs and grants you three more pages of legalese.
Covenants are like the annoying friends who always remind you of that one embarrassing thing you did in high school. They never let you forget, and every time you think you're free, there's a clause bringing it back up.
I imagine somewhere in the fine print of every covenant, there's a clause that says, "If you manage to read and understand this entire document, congratulations, you're now an honorary lawyer." It's the secret initiation into the legal Hogwarts.
The word "covenant" makes it sound like you're forging an unbreakable bond with the other party. In reality, it's more like signing up for a subscription you can't cancel, and the only thing bonding you is the fear of legal repercussions.
Covenants are like the unsung heroes of our lives. We don't think about them until something goes wrong. It's like having a superhero who only shows up when your neighbor's tree falls on your car, and you're desperately searching for that "Act of God" clause.
You ever notice how signing a contract feels like you're entering into a magical ritual? I mean, they call it covenants, but where are the wizards and the potions? Last time I signed one, I expected a puff of smoke and a wizard to appear, not just an email confirmation.

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