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Joke Types
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I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it's an uplifting experience.
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Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage.
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Why did the bicycle fall over while being sold? Because it was two-tired!
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Why did the scarecrow become a successful salesman? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it's an uplifting experience.
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Why did the bicycle fall over while being sold? Because it was two-tired!
Could Sell Time to a Clock
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I found this person who claims they could sell time to a clock. I asked, How do you even do that? They said, I convinced the clock that it's a limited edition timepiece. Now, I'm just waiting for them to sell me the idea that Mondays are a collector's item.
Could Sell Laughter at a Funeral
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There's this person who claims they could sell laughter at a funeral. I'm thinking, If you can turn a mourning crowd into a stand-up comedy club, you're not just a salesperson; you're a therapist in disguise. Next time I attend a funeral, I want this person to sell me on the idea that grief can be cured with a knock-knock joke.
Could Sell Wi-Fi to a Hermit Crab
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I heard about this sales genius who claims they could sell Wi-Fi to a hermit crab. I'm thinking, What's the crab going to do with internet access? Check his shellmail? If this person could make a hermit crab the most connected creature in the ocean, I want them negotiating my next phone plan.
Could Sell Cars
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You ever notice how car salesmen can sell you anything? I went to buy a car the other day, and the guy was like, This baby right here, it practically drives itself! I'm thinking, That's called cruise control, buddy. But hey, if he could sell me on the idea that my car is the next SpaceX rocket, I'd probably be on my way to the moon right now.
Could Sell Silence at a Rock Concert
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There's this legend who claims they could sell silence at a rock concert. I'm thinking, If you can make people pay for peace and quiet in the middle of a mosh pit, you're not just a salesperson; you're a miracle worker. Next time I'm at a concert, I'll be the guy selling earplugs to the front row.
Could Sell Raincoats in a Drought
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I met someone who thinks they could sell raincoats in a drought. I said, Buddy, the last thing people need when there's no water is waterproof clothing. But hey, if he could convince me to wear a raincoat while doing the ice bucket challenge, he's got my vote for salesman of the year.
Could Sell Sand in a Desert
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You know those people who could sell sand in a desert? I mean, who needs sand in a place that's practically made of it? If I had that skill, I'd be at the beach right now convincing seagulls to buy sunscreen. Trust me, guys, you'll thank me later when you're not looking like a roasted chicken.
Could Sell Sleep to an Insomniac
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I ran into this person who swears they could sell sleep to an insomniac. I said, Really? You're telling me you can convince someone who hasn't slept in a week that your magic pillow will do the trick? If they can pull that off, sign me up—I haven't had a good night's sleep since the invention of the snooze button.
Could Sell Ice to Eskimos
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I met this guy who claimed he could sell ice to Eskimos. I said, Really? Eskimos have been living in freezing temperatures for centuries, and you think they need your ice? He goes, Well, I have this special 'Arctic Ice Deluxe' edition. I'm thinking, That's just water, my friend, but if he could sell that to Eskimos, imagine what he could sell me in a heatwave!
Could Sell Vegetables at a Steakhouse
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I met someone who boasted they could sell vegetables at a steakhouse. I said, Good luck with that; people go to steakhouses for, well, steak! But if this genius could actually convince someone to choose a salad over a juicy ribeye, I want them to negotiate my gym membership.
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