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Why don't college football players ever get lost? Because they always follow the tight end!
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Why did the football team go to space? They wanted to prove they had good air superiority!
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What did the football say to the punter? 'You really kick me when I'm down!
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Why do college football players make great musicians? Because they know how to handle the scales!
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What do you call a football player who can play the piano? A quarterback-to-orchestra transition!
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Why did the college football player bring string to the game? He wanted to tie the score!
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I tried playing fantasy football once, but I quickly realized that my team was more of a fantasy than my chances of winning. I think I drafted a quarterback who was still in high school.
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College football rivalries are like sibling rivalries – fueled by years of history, a sprinkle of jealousy, and a lot of questionable bets. Losing a bet to a rival fan feels like losing custody of the remote for a week.
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Choosing a favorite college football team is like choosing a favorite child. You love them all, but secretly, you have a favorite – the one that doesn't embarrass you in public.
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College football fans are the only people who can turn a peaceful tailgate into a heated debate about the proper way to pronounce 'aluminum foil.' It's all fun and games until someone brings up the great foil controversy.
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If relationships were like college football, we'd all have a playoff system for choosing our significant other. Imagine the elimination rounds, the heartbreak bowl, and the championship ring ceremony. And, of course, a halftime show featuring a marching band playing love songs.
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I tried joining a college football team once, but they said I was better suited for the bench-pressing-the-remote-control event. I've been training for that my whole life!
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Watching college football is a lot like attending a family reunion. You've got that one team that everyone's proud of, a couple of underdogs, and then that awkward moment when two teams realize they might be related because they both wear red jerseys.
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College football mascots are like Tinder profiles – you swipe left on the ones that look too intimidating, and right on the adorable ones. I'm just waiting for a team to adopt a cuddly panda as their mascot. Go Team Pandamonium!
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College football teams are like my relationships – full of passion, unpredictable outcomes, and occasionally, a disappointing end. But hey, at least in football, they get a trophy for participation!
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