bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
Gift-giving with cheapskates is a whole other ball game. My birthday rolled around, and Pennywise hands me a gift. I unwrap it with excitement, only to find a coupon for a free high-five. I'm standing there, thinking, "Wow, thanks for sparing me the expense of a handshake." And have you ever received a regift from a cheapskate? It's like playing pass the parcel with disappointment. I got a box from Pennywise, opened it, and found a mug that said, "World's Best Grandpa." I said, "Pennywise, I'm not a grandpa." He replied, "Well, it was on sale, and I couldn't resist.
0
0
You ever try dating a cheapskate? It's like navigating a financial minefield. I went out with this girl who was so frugal; she made Ebenezer Scrooge look like a spendthrift. We went to a fancy restaurant, and she insisted on ordering tap water. I thought, "Great, I'll pair my water with a side of disappointment." But it gets better. When the bill arrived, she looked at it like she was decoding the Da Vinci Code. And then she hit me with the classic line, "Do you mind covering the tip?" I was tempted to tip her out the door.
I took her to the movies once, and she smuggled in her snacks. I'm not talking about a small bag of candy; this girl had a three-course meal hidden in her purse. I half expected her to pull out a portable grill and start cooking popcorn over a tiny flame.
0
0
Cheapskates love to dish out financial advice like they're the sages of saving. Pennywise once told me, "If you want to be rich, just stop spending money." Brilliant, right? I asked him if that includes bills and rent, and he said, "Well, those are optional, right?" And they're always into DIY projects to save a buck. Pennywise decided to fix his own car. I asked him how it went, and he said, "Let's just say, now it's a convertible whether I wanted it or not."
You know, I appreciate the effort to be thrifty, but sometimes you've got to draw the line between being frugal and turning into a real-life Scrooge. Otherwise, you might find yourself with a wallet full of receipts and a social life emptier than Pennywise's invisible salad.
0
0
You ever notice how there's always that one friend who's a total cheapskate? I mean, come on, we all have that person in our lives who's so tight with their money, they could turn a piggy bank into a retirement fund. I've got a buddy like that, let's call him Pennywise. This guy takes frugality to a whole new level. The other day, Pennywise invited me over for dinner. I thought, "Great, a free meal!" But oh no, not with Pennywise. He served me a plate of air and said, "It's an invisible salad. Saves on groceries." I was so hungry; I almost started chewing on my imagination.
And his idea of a night out? Window shopping. Literally, we just walked around the mall looking at things he had no intention of buying. I asked him if we could at least grab a coffee, and he said, "Nah, let's just stand near the coffee shop and inhale deeply." I've never been so caffeinated from secondhand coffee aroma in my life.
Post a Comment